A Million Blogging Monkeys

Mmmm, Cake!

2012-01-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

You are invited! To the book launch! For DEADLY CAMPAIGN!

It’s this coming Saturday, February 4th, from 4:00 – 6:00 pm at One More Page Books (2200 N. Westmoreland St., #101, North Arlington, VA (across the street from La Cote D'Or Restaurant, Le Marche Cafe, and the Crescent))!

There will be a presentation, followed by a book signing! Rumor has it I’ll be doing some mediocre (very mediocre) stand-up comedy (mostly to demonstrate how NOT to do stand-up comedy).

And! If all those exclamation points haven’t persuaded you, then maybe the following will!

Here are the Top Ten Reasons to come to my book launch:

10. See me make a fool of myself.

9. Get a copy of DEADLY CAMPAIGN

8. Get my autograph on it

7. Free bookmarks, five different ones! Collect them all!

6. Hear some new material (for a change)

5. Support a great independent bookstore (no joke here)

4. Mingle with other mystery readers and writers

3. For the wine tasting

2. Hear a new Top Ten list

And the number one reason to come to my book launch:

There Will Be Cake!!!!

Hope to see you there!

My Love Affair

2012-01-25T10:18:00.001-05:00

Today I end my wonderful stint as Featured Author on Drey’s Library with a post about my continuing love affair. Thank you, Drey, for being a terrific host!

Please stop by, won’t you?

The Secret Promo Tip Is…

2012-01-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

I’ve been busy the past 21 months. In that span, I’ve published three books with Midnight Ink (DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD, KILLER ROUTINE, and DEADLY CAMPAIGN). I’ve also published two ebook originals, writing as Zak Allen: THE TASTE and FIRST TIME KILLER.

Along the way, I’ve done a fair amount of promotion and marketing. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you which methods work best and which are not worth the time or money.

Yes, I’d like to, but I can’t. Because I don’t have a frickin’ clue.

We’ve all heard the witticism, “Fifty percent of marketing is effective, you just don’t know which fifty percent it is.” I think I’d settle for twenty-five percent.

For each book, I had bookmarks made. Lots of bookmarks. (Did you know that ordering 2000 is only a little more expensive than 1000? And that 5000 is only marginally more expensive than 2000? I do.) I even got bookmarks for my two ebooks, irony be damned. But do those bookmarks translate into sales? Beats me. People seem to like getting them, and they’re pretty, and they describe my books, so on the off chance they don’t end up in the trash…

What about book signings? I’ve done them and sold some books. But there’s a limit to how many you can do. Radio interviews? Did a couple, unclear results. Blog tours? Yes to those, too. They seemed to be good for gaining exposure, but again, did they move the proverbial needle? Who knows?

Postcard mailing? Cable TV interview? Book club visits? Google AdWords? Tried them all. Data inconclusive.

What about conferences, book festivals, library panels, and the rest of those personal appearances? They too, seemed to broaden my exposure, but I certainly couldn’t justify the expense based on the sales at the events.

Facebook? Twitter? Yes and yes. Do I think they’re a good way to get your name out there and connect with other readers and writers? Absolutely. Do I think it all translates into sales? Murky.

If only Oprah were still on the air.

Oh well. Maybe writing another good book is the key.

(This entry is “simul-posted” on InkSpot.)

A Few Faves

2012-01-18T14:14:00.001-05:00

Today, I offer a few book recommendations on Drey's Library, where I'm (still) this month's featured author.

Have you read any of the books I mention?

Be a Working Stiff

2012-01-12T10:11:00.001-05:00

Today, I’m guest blogging at Working Stiffs, talking about plowing through your writing project after the initial excitement has waned.

Come join us, won’t you?

Have a Great Drey!

2012-01-11T10:09:00.001-05:00

The fantabulous Drey has posted a very nice biblio of my books on her fabtastic blog, Drey’s Library, where I am honored to be this month’s Featured Author.

Click on over and check it out (library pun!)!

Thanks, Drey!

Interviewapalooza!

2012-01-10T08:57:00.001-05:00

To see my “author spotlight” interview at writer pal Richard Gazala’s GAZALAPALOOZA blog, click HERE.

Thanksapalooza, Richard!

DEADLY CAMPAIGN

2012-01-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

I’m thrilled to announce that today is the official release day for DEADLY CAMPAIGN, the second book in the Last Laff Mystery series (after KILLER ROUTINE).

Just in time for the election year!

Here’s the cover copy:

Comedy club owner and occasional performer Channing Hayes thought the comedy biz was tough, but it’s a stroll in the park compared to politics. When he and his business partner Artie attend a congressional campaign event for their friend Thomas Lee’s nephew, masked thugs storm in and break up Lee’s restaurant with baseball bats. The candidate’s people insist that the police not be involved, so Lee asks Channing to investigate. As Channing searches for answers, he finds himself plunged into a corrupt world of payoffs, gangs, illicit affairs, blackmail—and murder.

And some praise:

"Professional comedian Channing Hayes goes amateur detective in his rousing encore performance...Orloff has put together another winning routine, and mystery buffs will enjoy the fresh venue of a comedy club, not to mention a soft-boiled amateur sleuth case."
-- Library Journal

"DEADLY CAMPAIGN has it all—political intrigue, family warfare and, best of all, a hero. If the line between comedy and tragedy is indeed thin, then Orloff is a master tightrope walker."
-- P.J. Parrish, New York Times bestselling author of THE KILLING SONG

Available wherever fine books are sold!

First Time Killer

2012-01-04T09:00:00.001-05:00

I’m pleased to announce that my very, very close friend, Zak Allen, has epublished another book. This one is a thriller called FIRST TIME KILLER. In my opinion, it’s, uh, thrilling! (I also think it has a swell cover! Thanks Ink Slinger Designs!)

Here is a summary:

In shock radio, nothing is too far over-the-top in the pursuit of ratings.

Not even murder.

During his twenty-six-year career, D.C. radio talk show host Rick Jennings steered clear of outrageous radio. Wasn’t his thing. So when WTLK execs tap him for the Afternoon Circus to land a lucrative satellite deal, Rick struggles to maintain his standards—and his dignity. A chilling call (“I’m a long-time listener, first time KILLER.”) leads to the discovery of an intern’s arm in a trashcan. Rick spars with the “First Time” killer over the airwaves. The police are stymied. Ratings skyrocket. And First Time continues to knock off members of the Circus, phoning in to gloat afterward.

In a world of psychics and poseurs, crazy deejays and crazier callers, it’s up to Rick to bring First Time down before more people perish.

****************************************************

If you toss the movies Network, Play Misty for Me, and Talk Radio into a blender and add a liberal serving of Howard Stern, you’ll get the flavor of FIRST TIME KILLER (a full length suspense/thriller – 86K words, the equivalent of approximately 350 printed pages).

Available for Kindle and Nook. Click over to get your free sample!(Soon to be available on Smashwords, too.)

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T11:46:00.001-05:00

I’m big on New Year’s resolutions. Here are some writing-related ones:

I resolve not to use the names James, Jim, Jimmy, Jamal, McJames, Jamie, Jimbo, and Jiminy in the same book.

I resolve not to use the name Hortense in any book.

I resolve to use Correct capitalization, good:punctuation; and proper grammar whenever it would been poSSible”

I resolve to use more. Complete. Sentences.

I resolve not to play Minesweeper, check my Amazon rankings, and surf YouTube every fifteen minutes.

I resolve not to end every scene with a cliffhanger. Or will I?

I resolve not to write rough drafts with crayons anymore.

I resolve to do some research for my next book.

I resolve to no longer read Amazon reviews of my books. I’ll just assume they are all five stars. (Hey, these are my resolutions, and I’ll resolve what I want to!)

Got any to add?

Happy New Year, everyone!

(This entry was “simul-posted” on InkSpot.)

You Asked For It!

2011-12-13T04:44:00.000-05:00

Because the Last Laff Mysteries feature a stand-up comic, I thought it would be fun (crazy?) to include some actual stand-up comedy in my book event presentations. When I blogged about it earlier in the year, some of you Inkers wished you could have seen it. Now, thanks to this great website I’ve just recently discovered, YouTube, you can!

(Yes, this is definitely a case of be careful what you wish for. And remember, I’m a writer, not a stand-up comic.)

This is from the book launch party for KILLER ROUTINE at Barnes & Noble last May. The actual “stand-up” part starts about halfway through Part 2. (I had to divide the entire thing into four parts.)

For my book events to promote the about-to-be-released DEADLY CAMPAIGN, I'll need some new material, so if you have any good knock-knock jokes, please let me know!

BTW, I’m the guy with the clipboard.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

(Thanks to my sister-in-law for the video!)

Alan

Would You Vote For This Man?

2011-12-04T19:55:00.001-05:00

It’s always a happy day when the author copies arrive.

I’m Alan Orloff, and I approved this picture.

Books Make Great Gifts

2011-12-03T10:02:00.001-05:00

Books make great holiday gifts, and I happen to know where you can get some great mysteries, signed by the authors!

This Tuesday, December 6, from 7:00 PM - 8:30 PM, six Virginia mystery authors will be participating in a panel discussion: “The Story Behind the Story: How mystery writers concoct their diabolical plots.”

The authors are: Donna Andrews, Ellen Crosby, G.M. Malliet, Katherine Neville, Alan Orloff (that’s me!), and Sandra Parshall.

After the program, you can purchase books (if you want—certainly not required!) and get them personalized for you and/or your loved ones. (Did I mention that books make great gifts?)

The event is free!

BEATLEY CENTRAL LIBRARY
5005 Duke Street
Alexandria,VA 22304

Call 703-746-1702 with questions.

Hope to see you there!

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

2011-11-28T19:20:00.001-05:00

The winner of the signed DEADLY CAMPAIGN ARC in the “leftover” ARC giveaway (held jointly here and on InkSpot) is

…Darcy!

Congrats, Darcy, and thanks for playing!

Love of Leftovers

2011-11-23T04:44:00.000-05:00

Today is the day before Thanksgiving, and my refrigerator is crammed to capacity. Some of the food is already prepared, some of it is still gobbling. By 8:00 tomorrow night, much of it will be gone, but if this year is like most years, there will be plenty of leftovers (cooking a 22 pound turkey for only 11 people might be a contributing factor).

In keeping with that spirit, today’s pre-feast blog will be another feast of sorts, a smorgasbord of random tidbits and writing leftovers. (Oh, don’t make that face, not without trying it. And keep an open mind, there might just be something here that won’t turn your stomach. Don’t worry, I’ve got an unopened bottle of Pepto-Bismol at the ready.)

***

I’d like to pass along three writing tips. Number one, put your butt in your chair and your fingers on the keyboard. And type! Number two, finish your first draft completely; this will prevent you from wasting too much time revising a section you’re going to cut anyway. And number three…well, number three is…um, let’s see…something to do with the EPA? No, no, um…Ooops. (And don’t even get me started on Libya. Or is that Liberia? Or Libania? Well, the Taliban are bad, wherever they are…)

***

Actually, it doesn’t take that long to amass 80,000 words in a manuscript, maybe a week or two. Of course, it takes another six months to arrange them all in the right order. Ba da bing.

***

And speaking of writing, my hat goes off to all the NaNoWriMo participants. Well done, even if you don’t hit your targets. Sometimes it’s the effort that counts. Besides, the real book will be written in NaDecEdMo (and NaJanEdMo, and NaFebEdMo and…).

***

Tis the season to give thanks, and I’m thankful for many things. One of the writing-related things I’m thankful for is the nice Library Journal review DEADLY CAMPAIGN received. The pullquote: “Orloff has put together another winning routine, and mystery buffs will enjoy the fresh venue of a comedy club, not to mention a soft-boiled amateur sleuth case.”

***

And since we started this blog talking about leftovers, let’s bring this ~~disaster~~ ~~train wreck~~ post full circle. I have a “leftover” ARC of DEADLY CAMPAIGN I’d like to give away. Its official release date is January 8, but one lucky commenter (between now and 6 pm Sunday night) will get his or her very own copy weeks before that!

To enter, just leave a comment describing your best use of leftover turkey. I’ll pick one winner at random (US residents only and, no offense to my fellow MInkers, but I think I’ll limit the giveway to non-InkSpot bloggers, However MInkers, please feel free to leave your leftover turkey ideas—I have a feeling I’m going to need all the help I can get!).

***

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Alan

Your Creative Juices Will Thank You

2011-11-12T20:05:00.001-05:00

When I made my first attempts at writing fiction, I was clueless. About how to write, about how to format my writing, about what possible markets existed. I knew how to fire up Microsoft WORD, but I was pretty much clueless about everything else.

Luckily, I realized how clueless I was and did something about it. I took an adult education class to see if I really liked writing (I did). Then I began taking workshops to learn more about the craft (and business) of writing.

That’s how I ended up at The Writer’s Center in Bethesda, MD (I blogged about my experience here). I’m quoted on their website:

“Attending workshops at The Writer’s Center was—without a doubt—the biggest factor in my improvement as a writer.”

And it’s true!

So you can imagine how thrilled I am to be able to come back to The Writer’s Center as a WORKSHOP LEADER! (see, all caps? THRILLED!)

This winter, I’ll be leading an 8-week workshop called, Writing the Mystery Novel: Introduction. The workshop will begin on Saturday, January 21 (from 10 am to 12:30 pm) and run through March 17 (no workshop on March 3).

Here’s the description:

If you’ve always wanted to write a mystery novel but didn’t know where to start, this workshop is for you. We’ll discuss writing fundamentals (voice, character, plot, setting, etc.) and their application to the mystery. We’ll examine characteristics of the many subgenres and learn about mystery-specific conventions and pitfalls such as TSTL (too-stupid-to-live) syndrome, macguffins, red herrings, killer twists, wacky sidekicks, and smooth clue dropping, among others. Sessions will include instruction and writing exercises, with an emphasis on giving and receiving critiques of participants’ work.

If you’re an aspiring mystery writer living in the Washington, DC area, I’d love to see you in the workshop. I guarantee we’ll have some fun and learn a few things, too.

And if this particular workshop doesn’t float your boat, check out the other workshop listings. I’m sure you’ll find one that will excite you and get those creative juices flowing!

(If you have any questions about the workshop, feel free to leave them in the comments or shoot me an email directly. Or thru Facebook or Twitter or telegram or…)

Two-Month Warning

2011-11-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

In exactly two months, the second book in the Last Laff series, DEADLY CAMPAIGN, will be released (that’s January 8, 2012, for all you calendar-phobes). (I guess it’s also fitting that I blog about this on Election Day!)

The cover:

The cover-flap description:

A new Last Laff Mystery from Agatha Award-nominated author Alan Orloff

Comedy club owner and occasional performer Channing Hayes thought the comedy biz was tough, but it's a stroll in the park compared to politics. When he and his business partner Artie attend a congressional campaign event for their friend Thomas Lee’s nephew, masked thugs storm in and break up Lee's restaurant with baseball bats. The candidate's people insist that the police not be involved, so Lee asks Channing to investigate. As Channing searches for answers, he finds himself plunged into a corrupt world of payoffs, gangs, illicit affairs, blackmail—and murder.

Snippets from the LIBRARY JOURNAL review (the whole thing can be seen here):

“Professional comedian Channing Hayes (Killer Routine) goes amateur detective in his rousing encore performance.”

and

“Orloff has put together another winning routine, and mystery buffs will enjoy the fresh venue of a comedy club, not to mention a soft-boiled amateur sleuth case.”

And a blurb:

“Deadly Campaign has it all—political intrigue, family warfare and, best of all, a hero. If the line between comedy and tragedy is indeed thin, then Alan Orloff is a master tightrope walker.”

—P.J. Parrish, New York Times bestselling author of The Killing Song

DEADLY CAMPAIGN is available for pre-order! At Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your local bookseller through Indibound.

And They Are Easy to Wrap

2011-11-02T10:00:00.001-04:00

According to my calendar, it’s November (not quite sure how that happened, but it might have something to do with last month being October). When November arrives, it’s time to start thinking about the holidays. And when I starting thinking about the holidays, I think about ~~cakes~~ ~~pies~~ ~~cookies~~ ~~brownies~~ presents.

And when I think about presents, I think about books (among other things).

As a kid, I’d frequently get books as gifts. For my birthday, for Hanukah, for Arbor Day, even for my Bar Mitzvah (and let me tell you, no 13-year-old wants to get a copy of The Norton Anthology of Modern Poetry. Trust me.).

Most of the books were cool. I remember one great book, The Book of Answers, that had (surprise!) answers to a bunch of very perplexing questions. (I recently revisited that book and discovered that some of the answers were complete hogwash, but I guess that’s a topic for another blog). Every year I got a world almanac, and I spent hours and hours poring over all the statistics: populations of foreign countries, exchange rates of foreign currencies, GNP per capita (okay, I was a little geeky). I also got golf books, football books, baseball books, basketball books, tennis books (anyone see a pattern?), and, yes, even a few novels here and there.

I also got socks for presents, and let me tell you, books were way better.

Now that I’m an adult, I still like to give and receive books as gifts. How about you, do books make it onto your gift lists? And since we’re talking gifts, how about ereaders? Are they a must-have item this year? What say you, people?

(This entry has been “simul-posted” on InkSpot)

Treat or Treat

2011-10-31T06:00:00.000-04:00

Boo!

I mean, Yay! Yay for FREE BOOKS!

Tonight, I’m attending a virtual Halloween party, thrown by Joanna Campbell Slan, to celebrate her new Facebook fan page. Guess what? You are invited, too!

I’ll be dropping in from 10 – 10:30 pm. Below is the rest of the author schedule (did I mention FREE BOOKS?):

Location: https://www.facebook.com/JoannaCampbellSlan

Who:

9 - 9:30 PM EST
Mollie Cox Bryan (Scrapbook of Secrets)
Angie Fox (A Tale of Two Demon Slayers)

9:30 - 10 PM EST
Betty Hechtman (Behind the Seams)
Laura DiSilverio (Die Buying)
Deborah Sharp (Mama Sees Stars)

10 - 10:30 PM EST
Julie Compton (Tell No Lies)
Alan Orloff (The Taste)

10:30 - 11 PM EST
Casey Daniels (A Hard Day's Fright)
Vicki Doudera (Killer Listing)
Penny Warner (How to Party Like a Vampire)

11:30 – Midnight
Joanna Campbell Slan (Make, Take, Murder)
Camille Minichino (Murder in Miniature)

Special Drop-in Guests:
Linda O. Johnston (The More the Terrier)
Monica Ferris (Buttons and Bones)

All authors will be giving away FREE BOOKS--so you'll want to come and party with us! (Costume optional.)

And speaking of FREE BOOKS, you can still sign up to win an ARC of DEADLY CAMPAIGN (until 6 pm EST TODAY) at Dru’s Book Musings. I’m also giving away three ebooks of THE TASTE at Jenn’s Bookshelves.

A Typical Day

2011-10-27T06:06:00.000-04:00

If you’ve wondered what a typical day would be like for Channing Hayes, the protagonist in my Last Laff Mystery series, then wonder no more. Simply visit Dru Ann Love’s blog, Dru’s Book Musings, to read my Channing’s guest post!

But wait! There’s more!

We’re giving away, to one lucky winner, a signed ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) of the upcoming Last Laff Mystery, DEADLY CAMPAIGN.

Click here!

The Idea That Wouldn’t Die

2011-10-26T08:39:00.001-04:00

Today, I’m guest blogging on Jenn’s Bookshelves as part of her “scary” Murders, Monsters, & Mayhem Month. My post, The Idea That Wouldn’t Die, is reason enough to visit her blog, but as an added enticement, we’re giving away a few ebooks!

Click on over and join the Halloween fun!

MWA and U

2011-10-14T09:44:00.001-04:00

If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’re a mystery writer or mystery fan/reader (or criminal, I suppose, looking for hints about how to beat the law). That’s why I think you should consider joining Mystery Writers of America (unless you’re a criminal—then change your ways and contribute positively to society!). Disclaimer: I am a proud member of MWA and I’m the treasurer of the Mid-Atlantic Chapter. However, the opinions I’m expressing here are my own, unofficial and slightly biased, ones.

MWA offers many valuable benefits and services to members, as well as to the public at large (and you don’t have to be a published author to join!)—newsletters, discounts, a listserv, the Edgar awards, anthologies, scholarship programs, and others. But I’d like to highlight two important aspects of being in MWA: the networking and the education.

Our local chapter has monthly dinner meetings, and because of our D.C. location, we get a wide range of terrific speakers. We’ve had an ex-spy, an FBI hostage negotiator, and museum director (and a wealth of great writers, too). During our last meeting, we learned about stalking, which was fascinating, in a totally creepy way (Did you know that about 2% of stalking cases end in murder or attempted murder? And that, in Virginia, stalking is only a misdemeanor?).

In addition to hearing great speakers, these meetings are excellent places to network. You can connect with potential research sources, find other writers for critique groups, or discover which mystery/writing conferences are worth attending. You can also learn about agents, publishers, and other arcane workings of the publishing biz (if your stomach is strong enough).

On a national level, MWA has recently (within the past year or so) begun offering what it calls MWA University, in different locations throughout the country. It’s “a full-day, low-cost writing seminar designed to teach participants the essential skills needed to write a novel, from the idea stage to the final editing. The focus is on the craft of writing, and the college-level courses are taught by published writers and experienced teachers.”

I had the great pleasure of attending the pilot seminar last summer, and it was fantastic. I recommend it to any writer, at any level.

If you don’t already belong to MWA, what are you waiting for?

(This blog entry is simul-posted on InkSpot.)

Mystery Madness!

2011-10-12T10:19:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow, I’m excited to be part of a Mystery Day at the Library of Virginia, in Richmond. If you’re a mystery lover, you should attend!

Here are the details, clipped right from their website:

Whodunit? | A Day of Mystery Madness for Mystery Fans
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Time: 9:00 AM–3:00 PM

Fee and registration for lunch; panels are free of charge but require advance registration. Questions? 804.692.3900

If you're a fan of the genre, don't miss this event that hosts a dozen of the best mystery writers in the business for a reader-friendly, interactive, and fun day of discussion and insight. There will be break-out panels in the morning and afternoon to enjoy casual conversation and Q&A, and a lunch hosted by the venerable author and People's Choice Award nominee Donna Andrews. Book signings will be available throughout the day.

This powerhouse lineup of talent includes Donna Andrews, Mollie Bryan, Meredith Cole, Ellen Crosby, Jan Neuharth, Alan Orloff, Brad Parks, Sandy Parshall, David L. Robbins, J. B. Stanley, Andy Straka, and Irene Ziegler.

Moderators are Art Taylor, Steve Weddle, Katherine Neville, and Meredith Cole.

Panels:
9:30–10:30 AM: “What Comes First: Plot or Character?” – moderated by Art Taylor featuring Orloff, Crosby, Cole, Andrews, and Bryan.

10:45–11:45 AM: “Professionals v. Amateurs” – moderated by Steve Weddle featuring Neuharth, Straka, and Stanley.

Lunch

1:30–2:30 PM: "The Cutting Edge: What makes a thriller different from a mystery?” – moderated by Katherine Neville featuring Parks, Parshall, Robbins, and Ziegler.

Double Exposure

2011-10-01T10:19:00.001-04:00

I’m not usually “in” magazines, but by some quirk of fate, I’m in two current issues. (Maybe it’s time to play the lottery!)

My interview of the very talented Darrell James is in Issue 43 of CRIMESPREE Magazine (page 32).

And I’m featured in a profile by fellow NoVA writer Richard Gazala in the September/October issue of VivaTysons Magazine. You can see it online here (page 102).

Fight to the Death

2011-09-27T09:31:00.001-04:00

Today, I’m blogging on InkSpot about the on-going death match taking place in my writing space. Which side are you on?

“O” is for Me

2011-09-26T10:39:00.001-04:00

Today, I’m guest blogging on Janet Rudolph’s Mystery Fanfare. Pop on over and see what I have to say about riding the emotional roller-coaster.

Five Days, Three Events

2011-09-22T10:08:00.002-04:00

In addition to my panel tomorrow night at the Fall for the Book Festival, with Donna Andrews, G.M. Malliet, and Marcia Talley (which I blogged about here—you know, it’s the panel that “opens up” for Stephen King!), I have two more events in the next five days.

On Saturday, I’ll be at the Murder As You Like It Mystery Conference in Mechanicsburg, PA. It’s an all-day event, featuring:

Cordelia Frances Biddle, Chris Grabenstein, Kathryn Miller Haines, Don Helin, Larry Kerr, Valerie Malmont, Paul Malmont, Alan Orloff, Dennis Royer, Elana Santangelo, JD Shaw, Mike Silvestri, Maria V. Snyder, David R. Stewart, and Marta Perry.

My panel, “Jane Marple in the 21st Century,” is moderated by Maria V. Snyder with co-panelists Marta Perry and JD Shaw. (3:30 – 4:30)

For complete details, click here.

Also, next Tuesday, September 27, I’ll be at the Martha Washington Library in Alexandria, VA, with Sandra Parshall and Suzi Weinert, at 7:00. For details, click here.

Bouchercon, Baby!

2011-09-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don’t know, the biggest mystery convention is Bouchercon. It’s happening this week, in St. Louis (at the Renaissance St. Louis Grand), and I’ll be there!

Here’s my schedule:

Thursday, 9/15, 8:30 a.m. – Panel: Laughter of the Clowns: Comedy in crime fiction. With Gary Alexander, Allan Ansorge, Jack Fredrickson, Alan Orloff, Robin Spano. Moderated by Jerry Healy. Book signing to follow.

Friday, 9/16, 11 a.m. – 12 noon – I’ll be signing ARCs of my upcoming DEADLY CAMPAIGN in the Midnight Ink booth in the book room.

Friday, 9/16, 12:30 p.m. – 3:30 p.m. – I’ll be taking part in the charity bowling tournament at Flamingo Bowl. Go Bowling Prose!

Saturday, 9/17, 2 p.m. – 3 p.m. – Come “Meet the Author” (me) in the Midnight Ink booth in the book room.

Otherwise, you might find me hanging around in the lobby or taking up space in the bar. Come up and say hi!

King and I

2011-09-07T06:44:00.001-04:00

When I’m asked which writers have influenced me the most, I always tick off names from a very exclusive list: Robert B. Parker, Dean Koontz, Stephen King. And of those three, I think I’ve spent the most time reading Stephen King. As a teenager, I devoured his stuff, eagerly looking forward to his next book even as I turned the pages of his current one. Whenever I began one of his stories, I knew I’d be taking a suspenseful—and extended—journey (he wrote some very long books!).

A short, fictional, homage:

They say you can’t go home again, but I thought I’d try. Although those were misery-filled days—plagued by insomnia—I did my best to keep the desperation at bay and my rage in check. Thankfully, those were different seasons back then. Would I feel the same way now that I’d returned to the town where I’d been raised?

Just after sunset, I decided on a stroll to see how things had changed. Main Street seemed like it always had: the shining glazed doughnuts under the dome in the coffee shop window, the dead zone where my cell never worked.

I continued the long walk toward the quarry—the green mile, as it were—past the skeleton crew night shift assigned to the roadwork, past the shack where Dolores Claiborne’s two daughters, Christine and Carrie still lived, to a spot across the street where the black house used to loom, with its dark tower and secret windows overlooking the stand of gnarled cypress trees. Of course, that was before the storm of the century blew through here turning the old house into a bag of bones and giving the regulators something to argue about when old Rose Madder applied for a rebuilding permit.

I sat at the edge of the quarry and stared into space, thinking about the time gone by. I must have dozed off, because later, at four past midnight, I gazed into the night sky again, and the black void was absolute: full dark, no stars. Only nightmares and dreamscapes to keep me company.

(For extra credit: How many Stephen King titles can you pick out in the above story?)

So why blog about Stephen King now? Well, I’m excited to say he’s coming to town (at least my town) to speak at the Fall for the Book festival. This terrific week-long book event is held in Fairfax, VA, every fall, and it draws a ton of great writers and fans. This year, Stephen King is one of the headliners (he’s being presented with the Mason Award), and I’ve got tickets to hear him speak on Friday, September 23 at 7:30.

But that’s only half of why I’m excited.

Here’s the other half: I get to be on a panel “opening” for Stephen King!

The Stephen King event is co-sponsored by MWA (he is a Grand Master, after all), and they’ve arranged to have a mystery writers panel (with Donna Andrews, G.M. Malliet, Marcia Talley, and me) that will precede his speech, in an adjacent auditorium (our panel begins at 5:30). No tickets are required for our event, so if you’re in the area, come on by! (If you don’t have tickets for the King speech, there will be a drawing for ten tickets during our panel. So if you feel lucky…)

Did I mention I was excited?

And there’s one other Stephen King “connection” I’d like to note. Until now, my books have fallen into the mystery/suspense genre. I’m happy to announce that I’ve epubbed a horror/thriller in the Stephen King/Dean Koontz vein. Called THE TASTE, it’s available for Kindle and Nook. If horror/thrillers are your cup of tea, check it out!

(This entry is “simul-posted” on InkSpot)

Meet Zak Allen

2011-08-29T12:22:00.001-04:00

I’d like to introduce someone who is very (very!) near and dear to me, Zak Allen.

Zak has just epubbed his first novel. Called THE TASTE, it’s a full-length horror/thriller, in the tradition of Stephen King and Dean Koontz.

Take it away, Zak!

Thank you, Alan, for letting me take over your blog today. (It’s a nice blog and all, but you really should work harder to increase its readership. Maybe you should blog more frequently. And being clever would help, too. Just sayin’ )

As you mentioned, I’ve just epubbed a novel, and I’m very proud of it. It’s really a thriller with a horror premise, but it’s not too gory. (Although some people might find it a bit revolting in spots.) It takes place in the hinterlands of West Virginia and it was a lot of fun to write. I hope people think it’s a lot of fun to read, too!

Here’s the “cover flap” description:

After his mother dies, Jake Wheeler returns to his birthplace of Dark Springs, West Virginia, seeking solace among his kin. But his family’s unique comfort food includes some ingredients Jake's not sure he can stomach.

They eat dead people.

Discovering that skeleton in the pantry and adjusting to a new diet turn out to be the least of Jake’s worries. Storm clouds have gathered over Dark Springs, threatening the family’s peaceful existence. Ax-wielding clan patriarch Dallas Pike and his band of renegade followers have decided upon a violent plan to increase the dwindling food supply. Why wait for your next meal to die naturally if you can hunt it down instead?

With the survival of the entire clan at stake, Jake wages war against madman Pike.

He also battles an even more terrifying opponent.

Himself.

After all, Jake has THE TASTE.

THE TASTE is available for Kindle and NOOK, for only $2.99. Download a free sample today and check it out!

Thanks for coming by the blog today, Zak! And best of luck with THE TASTE! You can follow Zak on Twitter (@ZakAllenBooks) and “like”" his Facebook page. (Nice author “photo,” by the way!)

We Interrupt This Blog, Part II…

2011-08-27T16:13:00.001-04:00

…for a brief update.

In light of today’s hurricane activity, I have decided I am not moving to a Caribbean island or the Outer Banks.

Too soggy.

We Interrupt This Blog…

2011-08-24T08:46:00.001-04:00

…for a brief update.

In light of yesterday’s seismic activity, I have decided I am not moving to California, or any Pacific Rim country.

Too freaky.

Bookmark Time

2011-08-22T06:00:00.000-04:00

I’ve been working on the bookmark for my upcoming release, DEADLY CAMPAIGN.

A peek, front and back:

Your Turn

2011-08-16T09:57:00.001-04:00

A glance at the calendar tells me it’s summer, mid-August to be exact.

A glance at the thermometer confirms it.

Which means it’s vacation time. And one of my favorite things to do on vacation is ~~golf~~ ~~gamble~~ ~~hike~~ ~~eat~~ ~~travel~~ ~~sight-see~~ read!

So I thought I’d throw the blog open today to recommendations. Now, these don’t have to be “beach” reads. They can be any books you’ve read lately that you’re really passionate about. Something that you can be an evangelist for. (To keep this from becoming a Midnight Ink-fest, let’s exclude books written by MInkers.)

I’ll go first.

I read a lot of books, and most of them fall in the pretty-good-to-mediocre range. But every once in a while, I’ll read a gem that I really, really wish I’d written myself. One that I’ll recommend to other readers without even being asked for a recommendation. One I’ll even Tweet about!

One recently-read book that rocked my world was THE LOCK ARTIST by Steve Hamilton. (Of course, it’s not like this was a lucky find. It won an Edgar, for goodness sake!).

Now it’s your turn. What are some outstanding books you’ve read lately?

(This entry is “simul-posted” on InkSpot. Click over to join the fun!)

Snap, Crackle, Pop (or Story, Notes, Snips)

2011-08-12T09:03:00.000-04:00

Another “classic” blog post to beat the summer doldrums.

When I write, I work with three basic documents.

The first document is the manuscript itself, my "Story." I begin at page one and I'm off. I usually write in linear scene order, start to finish. If I don't know something, I'll put in a line of XXXXXXX's. If I need to check on something I've written, I'll highlight the section in red or yellow. Sometimes I don't even worry about chapter breaks. I just keep my head down and plow ahead, knowing I'll figure everything out during the revision process.

The second document I use is my roadmap ("Notes"). Even though it's a single "document," it's really a mish-mash that serves several functions (it's just easier for me to do it this way, especially when I know I'm going to end up searching frantically through it five months later looking for that certain vital detail I needed YESTERDAY!).

This Notes file includes:

The outline of the novel, scene by scene
A list of character names used, sorted by letter of the alphabet, so I don't have too many names beginning with the same letters (too confusing for readers and too confusing for me)
A brief character sketch of the major players (anywhere from a sentence or two ("uncoordinated, couldn't hit his mouth with a cheeseburger"), up to a few paragraphs). For more detailed bios, I will sometimes open new files--but I've found I rarely consult them!
Other information I want to include somewhere in the manuscript: nicknames, setting descriptions, types of cars, pets, jokes, possible character names, cool phrases I've decided to plagiarize, etc. I put all this miscellaneous stuff here because I know I'll review the entire file during the revision process.

The third document is my "Snips" file. In it go all the words, sentences, paragraphs, scenes, and chapters that I've written, then decided don't fit. I cut them out of my draft and put them here, just in case I change my mind and need them again. When I finish and realize I'm 8,000 words short, this is where I look first to see if there's anything worth salvaging. Hey, I've learned you can't be too careful.

What "document" system do you use when you write?

Nom de Bad Guy

2011-08-09T08:51:00.000-04:00

It’s summer (in case you couldn’t tell from the high temps and humidity), so I thought a blog rerun (or two) might be in order.

Darth Vader, Voldemort, Saddam Hussein, Professor Moriarty, Hannibal Lechter. All bad guys. All with great "bad guy" names (and one isn't even fictional!). Without even reading/seeing their story, I’d guess they were bad dudes. Why is that?

I'm no linguistics professor, but I can detect a few underlying "clues." “Darth Vader” sounds like “Dark Invader.” Voldemort and Moriarty have "mort" or "mor" in their names, bringing death immediately to mind. “Hannibal” rhymes with “cannibal.” “Saddam” is close to “sadist.” All negative connotations. (And what about Voldemort and Vader both being called "Lords"? Not negative, but…interesting.)

People develop certain preconceptions about names. If you were terrorized by a bully named Chris Newsome in second grade (just sayin'), then you'd probably have negative feelings toward any other Chris Newsomes you encounter--in real life, or in fiction. (Too bad his name hadn’t been Darth Newsome. Then kids might have instinctively known to avoid him.)

Some of my favorite villain names come from Dean Koontz. I read an article by him (or maybe it was from his great, out-of-print book How To Write Best-Selling Fiction (1981)) where he talked about giving his antagonists "harsh-sounding" names, full of hard consonants (v's, d's, c's, and k's are popular), double letters, and difficult-to-pronounce consonant blends. Check out some of his baddies: Edglar Vess, Vladimir "Corky" Laputa, Bryan Drackman, Preston Maddoc, Vince Nesco, and Thomas Shaddack. Don't these names just ooze badness?

Of course, most of Koontz's books are horror stories and thrillers. Obvious bad guy names don't work as well in mysteries, where the reader isn't supposed to know who the bad guy is until the end. Still, they'd make good red herrings...

Sometimes I think it would be nice to write satire or cartoons or kid's books. Then you can be a little more literal with your villainous names: Snidely Whiplash, Cruella De Vil, Boris Badenov, Bugs Meany (from Encyclopedia Brown, one of my favs), Dr. No, and Dr. Evil. Those must be fun to make up.

A character's name can have a profound effect on how readers picture him or her. Try portraying a character named Mal Madoff as a philanthropist--it's not going to fly!

What are some of your favorite names of fictional villains?

Writers, how do you name your bad guys?

Take My Genre, Please.

2011-07-26T08:24:00.001-04:00

The brisk air crackled with unanticipated excitement on the septuagenarian morn; blue-black crows cawed their nervous greetings above the ever-rolling hills, purveyors of nuisance. Beyond the craggy, distant, snow-covered, imposing peaks,—

Muse: Stop. Please stop.

—a plume of wispy smoke wisped up to the azure sky, signaling—

Muse: Oh, stop, stop, stop, STOP!

Me: What?

Muse: What are you doing?

Me: Writing a scene. Why?

Muse: I step out for a minute to stretch my legs and this is what happens? What’s with all the adjectives? And dude, use a dictionary.

Me: I thought I’d try something different.

Muse: We’ve been through this. Your readers don’t want different. They want you. Your voice. Writing what you write. No space aliens. No romance novels. No vampires.

Me: What’s wrong with vampires? They’re popular, you know.

Muse: There’s nothing wrong with vampires. But you’ve never bitten about vampires before.

Me: Hey, I’m the writer; you’re just here for inspiration. Please leave the wordplay to me.

Muse: See what happens when you try something new?

Me: Point taken. So you’re saying to stick to what I do best.

Muse: Exactly.

Me: Like simple sentences with simple words? Sentence fragments? One adjective per page? Stories about normal people in sticky situations?

Muse: It’s what your readers want. Frankly, you can’t handle much more than that.

Me: So no stories about talking trees? I was hoping to branch out.

Muse: Maybe we should both lay off the wordplay.

Me: Agreed.

Muse: Take your Last Laff mystery series. Please.

Me: Of all the muses I could get, I’m blessed with Henny Youngman? I thought we were going to stop the funny-biz.

Muse: Sorry. But seriously, in that series, you’ve taken a fairly normal protagonist, at least for a stand-up comic, and put him into a sticky situation. That’s what your readers expect from you. That’s what will make them happy.

Me: Not my sense of humor?

Muse: You’re lucky it’s not that. In your books, there’s some humor, but they’re primarily suspense/mystery stories. The humor is just a backdrop. At least that’s what you’ve been telling me.

Me: So what should I do if I feel the burning desire to write in another genre?

Muse: Try to quench it.

Me: And if I can’t?

Muse: That’s what pseudonyms are for. And personal journals. And Twitter. And epublishing.

Me: Oh.

Muse: One more thing. According to my union, it’s one muse per genre. So you and I would have to part company. And I know you don’t want that.

Me:

Muse: Well?

Me: Is my next muse likely to be funnier than you? Or at least nicer?

Muse: No.

Me: Okay, then. Let’s get back to work.

What about you, writers? Have you had the urge to write something in another genre? What’s been your solution?

(BTW, that’s a picture of my muse working a pool party on his day off. I guess I don’t pay him enough.)

This entry is “simul-posted” on InkSpot

Bad Links! Bad, Bad Links!

2011-07-23T09:13:00.001-04:00

Bad News: To my chagrin, yesterday’s terrific guest post by Cricket McRae got infected by some bad links. I’d like to blame the big, bad Internet, but the fault lies with me. Sorry!

Good News: They’ve been corrected. So if you visited the blog yesterday, and ended up in cyberspace limbo, I urge you to try again. Visit Cricket McRae’s website; her blog, Hearth Cricket; check out her latest release, WINED AND DIED; and visit Bizango Websites for Writers.

Synopsis Writing Tips

2011-07-22T05:55:00.001-04:00

I’m happy to welcome my writing pal Cricket McRae to the blog with some terrific tips for completing that most terrifying of creatures—the synopsis. In addition to being a successful novelist and fellow arugula lover, Cricket has a very interesting blog, Hearth Cricket, where she provides lots of crafty home and garden lessons, stories, and tasty tidbits.

Take it away, Cricket!

Thanks for inviting me to guest on A Million Blogging Monkeys, Alan!

As a result of my fifth contemporary cozy Home Crafting Mystery, Wined and Died, hitting the shelves, I’m on this merry little blog tour and poking my head up here and there letting people know about the book release. Kind of like a literary whack-a-mole. At the same time, I just finished another manuscript for a second series, and most recently I wrote a detailed synopsis for the next book in that series. Now I’m back at work on Home Crafting Mystery #6.

The very word synopsis used to send terror arrowing through my solar plexus. Know why? Because they’re hard. At least they are for me. After all, I’ve never managed to start a short story that didn’t turn into a novel. Or at least an idea for a full-blown novel. Keeping it short is a challenge.

But over time I’ve completed several novel synopses, and have picked up a few basic tips:

Really basic: The format is double-spaced, with one-inch margins, and twelve-point Times Roman font. Pretty much just like a manuscript, but for some reason there seems to be a notion that it needs to be different. It doesn’t. Make sure your contact information is in the header. And some people say that the first time you introduce a character’s name it should be in all caps. No matter what tense your novel is in, the synopsis needs to be present tense.

Know how long your synopsis needs to be. If you don’t know, then write more than one. When I was sending them out to agents I had a one-page, a three-page, and a five-page synopsis, because different agents want different things. On the other hand, book proposals for editors typically have more detailed synopses, sometimes fifteen pages or more.

Map out your major plot points. Then identify crises, turning points, the motivation(s) of your main character(s), and the character arc of the protagonist over the course of the novel. Use this vital information as the skeleton for the rest of the synopsis.

Use the same voice and tone of your novel. It helps to convey a feel for the story if the synopsis reflects the way you’ve written it (or plan to write it). If your character is casual, keep the tone casual. If you tend to use brief, declarative sentences, do that in your synopsis. If you’re funny, let some of that humor come through.

Keep the important stuff. If there’s a character who is key late in the book, bring them up as early in the synopsis as you would, relatively, in the novel. Deciding what is important and what isn’t can be surprisingly difficult. So ask yourself whether a particular piece of information adds to or detracts from the clarity you are trying to convey in your brief rundown of your story.

Lose the unimportant stuff. That clever subplot? A brief mention is enough, and then a quick line to say how it turned out at the end. Sometimes you have to drop whole subplots or relationship details, especially in one-page or three-page synopses.

Leave out dialog and description. Mostly. A single line of dialog can convey a lot, and add to that voice/tone thing I mentioned earlier.

The synopsis doesn’t have to precisely reflect the timeline in the book. If you write with a lot of flashbacks, you may want to include some of those time leaps in the synopsis, but it might be easier to tell the story in shorthand if you present it chronologically.

Have other people read it. Preferably folks who haven’t read your novel. You know too much about your own book to have perspective. Does it make sense to them? Pay close attention to what questions they ask or where they want clarification.

I’d love to hear about any tricks you use when writing a synopsis!

---------------------------------------

In honor of the recent release of Wined and Died, you can enter to win a free Author Website ($900 value!) plus two years of free hosting from the creative folks at Bizango Websites for Writers until July 29, 2011. For more details and information on how to enter, please visit Cricket’s blog at www.hearthcricket.com.

A former resident of the Pacific Northwest where her novels are set, Cricket McRae has always dabbled in the kind of practical home crafts that were once necessary to everyday life. The magical chemistry of making soap, the satisfaction of canning garden produce, and the sensuous side of fiber arts like spinning and knitting are just of few of the reasons these activities have fascinated her since childhood. As a girl she was as much a fan of Nancy Drew as of Laura Ingalls Wilder, so it's no surprise that her contemporary cozy series features a soap maker with a nose for investigation. For more information about Cricket or the Home Crafting Mystery Series, check out www.cricketmcrae.com.

Many Hats

2011-07-20T06:00:00.000-04:00

Elizabeth Spann Craig posted a question on the blog last week:

You've got a very interesting background...have you used any of your past work experience in your books? Are you planning to?

For those of you who don’t know, I have had, uh, quite a few jobs throughout my career. The following is from my Amazon Author Page bio:

Before Alan stepped off the corporate merry-go-round, he had an eclectic (some might say disjointed) career. As an engineer, he worked on nuclear submarines, supervised assembly workers in factories, facilitated technology transfer from the Star Wars program, and learned to stack washing machines three high in a warehouse with a forklift. He even started his own recycling and waste reduction newsletter business.

In addition, I did piping stress analyses for nuclear power plants, I supervised a group of product planning managers for a TV/radio ratings company, and I was the marketing manager for a hardware/software systems developer. (And I worked at the National Bureau of Standards, and I bought corrugated containers for a major appliance company, and I consulted to a national media company, and I…)

You get the picture.

So, have I ever used any of my past work experiences in my books? I’d have to say no. At least not consciously. I mean, who wants to read about a boring cubicle dweller, who spends all day crunching numbers and writing reports?

Of course, on a subconscious level, I’m sure I’ve used a ton of stuff from my experiences. The way a co-worker acts. The way a factory looks. The psychological effects of a particularly stressful negotiation. Those descriptive details, amassed from all my experiences, have definitely found their way into my books.

And who better to murder than all those evil ex-bosses?

As for the future, who knows? If there’s a market for a story about a rogue nuclear submarine that employs Star Wars technology as it’s used in an evil plot to manipulate the TV ratings, then I’m your guy.

(Here’s a question for you, Elizabeth: How much of your BBQ series is taken from your personal experience? If the answer is “a lot” then I’m inviting myself down for dinner sometime!)

Genres

2011-07-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

Alex J. Cavanaugh left a question on the blog:

What other genres do you like besides mystery?

When I was a teenager, I read a ton. Oh, I’m not talking about all those stuffy “classics” we were supposed to read for English class (While I actually read a few of those, I have to thank Cliffs Notes for help with the rest). No, I read almost exclusively science fiction back in those days. Then I moved on to horror. I read every Stephen King and Dean Koontz book, including the books written under their pseudonyms (many of which required some serious research to determine).

When I was in my twenties, and working in Boston, I had a boss who liked to read. He recommended a series about a wise-cracking private eye, set right there in Boston. From that point on, I was a big fan of Robert B. Parker’s Spenser series, as well as crime fiction in general.

In addition, I enjoy humorous, coming-of-age stories, such as those by John R. Powers, and more contemporary books by John McNally, John Green, and Brian Katcher.

While most of my current reading consists of mystery and suspense novels, I still enjoy science fiction (in fact, CassaStar is on my Kindle—and I’m looking forward to reading it!), horror, and YA.

Of course, I’ll read any book that falls in the “good book” genre.

As far as writing goes, my published books (so far) fall into the mystery/suspense genre. But I have some exciting news to pass along in the next month or so—about a novel in another genre that someone close to me (very close!) will be epublishing. Stay tuned!

Come On, Monkey!

2011-07-14T15:19:00.001-04:00

Dear Blogging Monkey,

I’m a big fan of the blog, but lately, say in the last month or so, you’ve been blogging more infrequently.

What gives?

Signed,

A Fan

Dear Fan,

You make a good observation--I have been blogging less frequently (although there have been some excellent guest bloggers recently). This blogging monkey has been a very busy monkey. But I’d like to get back on track, so I’ll throw it open to you, my fabulous blog readers. Are there any burning questions you’d like to ask me? Leave your questions in the comments, and I’ll blog with the answers.

Soon. I promise!

Signed,

Blogging Monkey

Three For Three

2011-07-07T07:39:00.001-04:00

Another book will be throwing its hat into the 2012 ring: DEADLY CAMPAIGN, set for a January release.

This is my third book, and it was still a thrill when I saw my cover for the first time. And what a cover it is! Eye-catching, colorful, enticing (I hope!). For my money, Midnight Ink does the best covers in the business, and I’m very grateful to be part of the team.

Believe it or not, until about three weeks ago, I hadn’t connected the fact that this book—with a congressional campaign as a backdrop—was coming out in an election year (I know, duh!). Maybe it’s because I live in the D.C. suburbs and politics is in the news every single day, election year or not.

My two previous books were both Spring releases, so this will be my first Winter release. Hopefully, the book will appeal to all those who receive bookstore gift cards doing their shopping in early January.

Okay, so what’s the book about? Here’s the description from Midnight Ink’s website:

A new Last Laff Mystery from Agatha Award-nominated author Alan Orloff: Comedy club owner and occasional performer Channing Hayes thought the comedy business was tough, but it's a stroll in the park compared to politics. When he and his business partner Artie attend a congressional campaign event for their friend Thomas Lee's nephew, masked thugs storm in and break up Lee's restaurant with baseball bats. The candidate's people insist that the police not be involved, so Lee asks Channing to investigate. As Channing searches for answers, he finds himself immersed in a corrupt world of payoffs, gangs, illicit affairs, blackmail—and murder . . .

It’s available for pre-order here, here, here, and here. Register your vote today!

My name is Alan Orloff, and I have approved this message.

(This entry has been simulposted on InkSpot.)

Novel Places

2011-06-27T09:24:00.001-04:00

There’s a new indie bookstore in town (if you happen to live in Clarksburg, MD, that is)!

Novel Places has just opened up, and they are having a Grand Opening Celebration this Saturday, July 2.

I’ll be there! So will fellow mystery author Donna Andrews and local children’s author Barbara Jean Van Meter.

And there will be food and fun (and books!).

Come visit this restored historic building and help Patrick Darby celebrate the grand opening of his new store (and his birthday, too)!

The deets:

Grand Opening - Saturday, July 2 from 10am - 6pm

11am - Presentation by State Senator Rob Garagiola
2pm - Mystery Author Alan Orloff
3pm - Mystery Author Donna Andrews
4pm – Children’s Author Barbara Jean Van Meter

Novel Places, 23341 Frederick Road, Clarksburg, MD 20871

8 Keys To Becoming A Successful Writer

2011-06-21T05:00:00.000-04:00

If you look up “professional writer” in the dictionary (you know, one of those fat, printed books with lots of unusual words), you may see Mark Terry’s picture. Freelancer, novelist, non-fiction author, short-story writer, blogger—he’s got all the bases covered. On his blog, This Writing Life, Mark calls them like he sees them, and he sees a lot. He’s blog touring to support his latest release, THE VALLEY OF SHADOWS (see below for details). Please welcome Mark Terry to home plate today! (okay, so I was in a baseball mood)

8 Keys To Becoming A Successful Writer
by Mark Terry

You can tell I’ve been freelancing for a living, with the “8 Keys To…” Could be anything: Marketing Your Medical Practice, Choosing New Carpet, Picking Out A New Toilet.

Anyway, I’ve written 13 books, over 600 magazine articles, over a dozen book-length market research reports and hundreds of web page content, directories, white papers, etc. Here are some things that I think can help make you become a successful writer (by whatever definition of “success” you choose).

1. Read a lot.

You would think this was a given, but it isn't necessarily. I have, for years, read rather broadly in the mystery/thriller/suspense area - cozies and PI novels and police procedurals and flat-out thrillers and espionage, etc. A few years ago I began to feel like my reading was getting narrower, so I consciously started expanding outside my chosen genres. I read nonfiction books, some sci-fi, some fantasy, some YA novels, some historical novels. I'm just trying to feed my brain a bit more.

2. Write a lot.

If you're a slow writer, that's okay. Just make sure you're a regular writer. Writing is a muscle and it can get flabby and atrophied if you don't use it a lot.

3. Collect a lot of rejections.

If you're not making a living as a writer and you're not getting very many rejection slips, you're probably not working hard enough. I’m a full-time freelancer and I’m constantly marketing and constantly being rejected. That's just the business. But if you've written a novel and you tried two publishers and they turned you down and you gave up, you gave up waaaaayyyyy too early. If you tried to get a dozen or even 50 agents to take you on and you gave up, you gave up waaaaayyyy too early. The market’s changed with e-books, but still…

My advice is this: don't quit until you've accomplished what you set out to do. Plan on getting an agent? Send queries until you've got one.

4. If you've published a novel, keep marketing.

This is hard. But I've often thought of my successes in almost all areas of writing as coming about from a kind of "constant push." I've thought of it as like me having my shoulder to a rock that I'm trying to move. If I constantly apply pressure, eventually it'll move some. And once it starts to move, I get some momentum going. Sometimes I try a big shove and sometimes I ease off (but not entirely; I always try to be at least leaning against that rock), but there's always some pressure going on.

5. Reach out.

I'm trying harder to help other writers. I wish I had had more mentors when I was struggling. There are limits to what I can do, but I am trying.

6. Stretch.

Like reading outside my immediate preferences, I think it's a good thing from time to time to try something different. I’ve been writing an SF novel for a year or two. I wrote a nonfiction book proposal that my agent is currently marketing. Try something different. It’s good for you. It works different muscles.

7. Allow yourself to hope.

But realistically. It's okay to hope you'll sell a novel for seven figures and get a hot movie deal and end up on Good Morning, America, but you might also get struck by lightning while taking out your garbage on a sunny day. It happens, but not often. But allow yourself to hope you'll get published, that you'll get an advance, positive reviews, and be able to build a readership. Hope big.

8. Have a life.

Writing isn't everything. I've said it again and again. Don't let this passion (obsession) ruin your life. If your happiness depends on getting a book contract, on becoming a novelist, on making a living as a novelist, on hitting the bestseller lists, you're letting your life be run by things you have no control over and letting people you've never even met have too much control over your life. Have a life. Makes friends. Pay attention to your spouse and children. Travel. See movies. Go to a museum. Take your dog for a walk. Play an instrument. Sing. Laugh. Go to the gym. Take up yoga or tai chi or macramé or soap carving or building life-size replicas of historical monuments out of beer cans. Live.

What did I miss?

THE VALLEY OF SHADOWS, is the fourth in the thriller series featuring Homeland Security troubleshooter Dr. Derek Stillwater, and it’s been getting some great reviews. Check it out, along with the first three in the series, THE DEVIL’S PITCHFORK, THE SERPENT’S KISS, and THE FALLEN, as well as some of Mark’s other works. Also be sure to visit Mark’s blog, This Writing Life.

Thanks for visiting the blog today, Mark!

Tips for Writing Away from Home

2011-06-17T01:00:00.000-04:00

Elizabeth Craig/Riley Adams is one of the hardest working writers I know, writing multiple series at the same time, in addition to being a top-notch blogger and Twitter expert extraordinaire. I don’t know how she manages to juggle her writing with being a mother, either, but it’s truly inspirational. Why, she’s so busy, she needs two names! If you like fun mysteries, I highly recommend hers. Please welcome one of my favorite writing pals to the blog!

Tips for Writing Away from Home

by Elizabeth Craig

Do you ever write in cafes or coffeehouses? How about…swimming pools? I took my daughter and her friend to the pool the other day, intending to get some writing done while they entertained themselves. I was so organized, too—towels, goggles, snacks, membership card, sunscreen—but somehow the notebook that was in my hand didn’t make it into the pool bag.

Fortunately, the YMCA was obliging, even though they now think I’m a little odd. “Do you have any registration forms?” I asked.
The teenage staffer: “Registration for what, ma’am?”
“For…anything!” I answered.
There was a pause. “Day camp? Fall preschool? Gymnastics?”
“Yes!” I said.

Luckily, I got enough blank-backed registration forms to keep me in paper for the next couple of hours. (I had to write small.)

The pool isn’t the only place I write. Besides the usual cafes and coffeehouses, I’ve written at the park, at a bowling alley, skating rinks, Disney World…the list goes on and on.

Tips for Writing in Public Places:

Be prepared. Don’t be like me! Obviously, I’d run through my entire emergency supply of index cards when I ran into my problem at the pool. 4x6 index cards are perfect for writing—you can store them in your car’s glove compartment, or other small spaces. Pencils seem to be more reliable than pens (which have a tendency to be gloppy sometimes.) Have extra cards and notebooks with you, too, in case you run out of space in one notebook, or break the point on a pencil.

Voice recorders can be useful (if no one is close.) I’ve got a free voice recorder on my phone that holds a ton of recordings. Obviously, though, I’m going to restrain myself from muttering about murder if anyone is close by :)

Shed your self-consciousness. Although you’ve got to be a little careful about the voice recorder, you shouldn’t worry in general about how you look when you’re out writing. Yes, I’ve had people come up and ask me questions about what I’m doing…usually they seem to think I’m sketching, which seems weird to me. I guess because I’m usually staring blankly around me as I write. But writing away from home really opens up a lot of possibilities if you’re open to the experience.

Choose a spot where no one knows you. Is there a local coffeehouse that’s a hangout for your friends and neighbors? It’s probably better to skip it and head for a spot a little farther from home if you’re genuinely trying to get some writing done.

Soak up your surroundings. There’s usually plenty of fodder for books in public places: you can find character traits, names, and other tidbits that can be worked into books.

An e-reader can be your friend. Load your files onto your e-reader for easy transport of your manuscript. Text files work best (at least for the Kindle), since PDFs can’t be enlarged. With your manuscript in tow, it’s easy to pick up writing where you left off, or check something from an earlier section of your manuscript.

Transcribe it before you lose it. If you’re writing away from home and don’t have your laptop with you, be sure to transcribe your scribbles over to Word when you get back home…before you lose them. I can’t think how many times I’ve had to search for small bits of paper that had important parts of my book on them.

Do you like writing away from home? Where is your favorite place to write? Any tips for writing on the go? And—many thanks, Alan, for hosting me today!

Elizabeth’s latest book, Finger Lickin’ Dead , released June 7^th. Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series for Penguin/Berkley (as Riley Adams), the Southern Quilting mysteries (2012) for Penguin/NAL, and the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink.
Writer's Knowledge Base--the Search Engine for Writers
Twitter: @elizabethscraig

School’s Just Starting

2011-06-16T10:57:00.001-04:00

The welcome mat has been dusted off and put out for some special guests to the blog.

Tomorrow, the wonderful Elizabeth Craig joins us with some tips for writing away from home.

Next Tuesday, the terrific Mark Terry will pass along his 8 keys to becoming a successful writer.

Looks like we’re going to learn some new things in the next few days! Outstanding!

LOL!

2011-06-15T07:50:00.003-04:00

Back in April, I blogged about trying to be entertaining. I also mentioned the little stand-up routine I’d developed in conjunction with my KILLER ROUTINE promotional appearances. I’m here today to report on what transpired.

It wasn’t always pretty.

Here’s a dissection of my presentation.

I began with a few warm-up witticisms. “How many people have come to one of my events before?” “How many people have heard me speak more than once?” “How many people are just here for the cake?”

Then I talked a little bit about my books, and why I decided to write a series featuring a stand-up comic. To explore that fine line between comedy and tragedy. To have a suspenseful mystery with an “excuse” to include some humor. So I could watch Comedy Central and count it as research.

While the books in the Last Laff series are not funny-funny, there are spots where characters perform stand-up routines. I went on to explain the difficulty I found in writing a routine to be read and not performed. Without the benefit of the comic’s timing, delivery style, and attitude, the routine is apt to come off pretty flat on paper. To illustrate this point, I read a short bit I’d transcribed from a Brand-Name Comedian. Predictably (and with my delivery style), it indeed fell flat.

I described what I did to circumvent this. I chose a secondary character and had him perform at an open-mic night, where the comedy standards are, well, practically non-existent. I went on to explain how an open-mic night works and then I suggested we simulate one. Right there on the spot.

Who wants to go first?

That’s when I shucked my writer persona and donned my stand-up identity.

After writing a few crime fiction manuscripts, I realized I needed to do some research to learn more about crime. So I knocked over a 7-Eleven.

I discovered that my “comedy” went over better when there were more people in the audience, and that I fed off their energy.

All writers I know eagerly anticipate their reviews, and I’ve been fortunate to get some good ones, for both books. But my favorite review is about DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD, and it’s from my son: “No offense, Dad, but that book is way too good to have been written by you.”

I’ve always held an admiration for stand-up comics. Now, it’s doubled. That’s hard work, getting people to laugh. Hard, hard work.

If you’re a writer, you will encounter rejection. A lot of rejection. That’s why you need a really thick skin. And I’m used to rejection, I really am. But lately, it seems like things have been getting worse:

Prince Makeenu of the Royal Family of Nigeria keeps refusing my checks.

Harry and David wouldn’t let me join their Fruit-of-the-Month Club.

Rejection just follows me around. The Salvation Army won’t take any of my old clothes. What’s worse, they won’t take any of my new clothes, either!

So far, I’d have to judge my experiment as a success. Many attendees made a point of coming up and telling me how much they enjoyed the presentation. They thought it was entertaining, even when my jokes bombed.

Now, I did notice a few uneasy looks from the audience, and I imagined them trying to extrapolate my writing ability from how I performed my comedy shtick. So to put people at ease, I made sure to sign books with the inscription: Don’t worry, my writing is better than my stand-up.

I hope they bought it!

(This entry was “simul-posted” on InkSpot)

Same Bat Time

2011-06-11T08:32:00.001-04:00

I’m thrilled to be guest blogging (the weekend shift) at Poe’s Deadly Daughters. Come visit to learn what I think about the use of…

(I guess you’ll have to click over to see!)

Down the Hall, To the Left

2011-06-10T09:55:00.001-04:00

Here are the top ten things I get asked at book signings:

10. “Should I know who you are?”

9. “Do you live in a mansion?”

8. “Can I have a part in the movie version?” [Oh wait, that’s my son who always asks me this one]

7. “How come your books don’t have vampires in them?”

6. “Do you know James Patterson?”

5. “Are there refreshments?”

4. “If I give you a great idea, can you write the book and split the money with me?”

3. “Can you introduce me to your agent?”

2. “Have you written any good books?”

and the number one thing I get asked at book signings:

“Do you know where the bathrooms are?”

Free Books, On-Sale Books, and Raspberries

2011-06-06T14:20:00.001-04:00

I was going to write today’s post about some free and on-sale e-books from a few Midnight Ink authors. But my writing pal Cricket McRae beat me to the punch on her Hearth Cricket blog, and she did a much better job than I would have done. So I’ll simply provide a link to her blog (along with my gratitude—Thanks, Cricket!).

And that gives me a few minutes to show off my insane wild raspberry patches.

This is the rear patch.

This is the front patch.

And this is a close-up.

Only about one month until pickin’ time!

The Power of the Quota

2011-05-30T15:32:00.001-04:00

The idea of sitting down at your computer and writing the first draft of a novel—an entire 80,000 word (or more) novel—can be daunting. An obstacle so tall and formidable that you might be dissuaded from even starting. But I’ve got an easy-to-implement method that will help you get that draft written with a minimum of pain and suffering (oh, there will be pain and suffering, but this method will help keep you from pulling out all of your hair).

Just sit back and rely on the quota.

Here’s how it works. Take your end goal, say 80,000 words, and divide it by the number of days you have until your deadline. If you don’t have any kind of firm deadline, pick a number, like three months (sixty days—you get your weekends off!). Dividing 80,000 by 60 results in a daily quota of 1333 words per day. Why, you can knock that off in an hour and a half! (Okay, two hours, tops.) As a reward, once your goal is reached, you’re free to do whatever else you want that day (yes, even Facebook)!

If you hit your daily quota, then in three short months, you’ll have an 80,000-word draft of a novel.

Of course, then comes the fun part.

Nailed!

2011-05-26T11:07:00.001-04:00

Guilty! Caught reading crime. Visit Jen’s Book Thoughts to see the incriminating photo.

Fanboy Forever?

2011-05-25T08:39:00.001-04:00

Today I’m at InkSpot blogging about morphing into a Fanboy. Click over and tell me if that stage will ever pass. (I hope not!)

Gaithersburg Book Festival

2011-05-20T06:00:00.000-04:00

Q. What do Thomas Kaufman, Rita Mae Brown, Donna Andrews, Alex Berenson, Louis Bayard, Stephen Hunter, Brad Parks and…me have in common?

A. We are all appearing at the Gaithersburg Book Festival in the Dashiell Hammett Mystery Pavilion this Saturday (tomorrow)!

I’m batting leadoff at 10:00 am, followed by that bunch of terrific writers.

But the Festival is not just about mysteries! There are seven other pavilions encompassing other genres: fiction, non-fiction, children’s, YA, and even special interests!

And of course the Unicycle Lady will be there!

It’s a full day of fun and books, books and fun (and food!).

Hope to see you there!

I’m a Pod(cast) Person

2011-05-18T06:00:00.000-04:00

I’ve blogged about The Writer’s Center in Bethesda, MD before. It’s a great place for writers of all types: fiction, non-fiction, rookie, experienced, young, old, published, unpublished.

I’ve also blogged about the advertising campaign I was thrilled to be involved in. You know, the one where my ominous face appears on DC Metrobuses along with a quote:

“Attending workshops at The Writer’s Center was—without a doubt—the biggest factor in my improvement as a writer.”

Now, I’m honored to be part of their podcast interview series, alongside other writers Angela Davis-Gardner, Kelli Stanley, Alan Cheuse, and Alice McDermott.

The free podcast can be heard here, and it is available (also free!) on iTunes.

Thanks to ace interviewer Art Taylor (a 2011 Derringer Award winner) for making me sound a lot better than I am, and to Kyle Semmel of The Writer’s Center for asking me to participate!

*****

Doing the podcast interview was a lot of fun, but I’m anticipating having even more fun this Sunday, May 22 at 2:00 at The Writer’s Center. That’s because I’ll be doing a joint reading (it’s free, too!) with my first instructor there, Ann McLaughlin. I’ll be reading from KILLER ROUTINE, and she’ll be reading from her latest novel, A TRIAL IN SUMMER.

Books, Chocolate, and Wine!

2011-05-16T09:57:00.001-04:00

I had a great time at yesterday’s event/signing at One More Page Books in Arlington, VA. If you need books (and who doesn’t?) or if you need chocolate (and who doesn’t?) or if you need wine (and who doesn’t?), you should check out this new store. No joking!

A big thanks to Eileen McGervey and the rest of the characters at One More Page Books!

Some highlights, in pictures:

So Many Questions

2011-05-09T09:59:00.001-04:00

On today’s blog tour stop, I’m being interviewed by my writer pal Stephen Parrish on his terrific blog, called, strangely enough, Stephen Parrish.

Come By and Say Hi!

2011-05-06T11:05:00.001-04:00

I’d love to see you at an upcoming event as I promote KILLER ROUTINE. And, as luck would have it, I have three events in the next two weeks or so.

Sunday, May 15 at 2:00 - One More Page Books in Arlington, VA (just over the Falls Church line).

Come out and support this terrific new indie bookstore! I’ll be giving a presentation and signing books (come for the books, but be sure to peruse their very nice wine and chocolate selections). I may even pull out my “simulated” open mic night routine!

Saturday, May 21 at 10:00 am – Gaithersburg Book Festival

This is one of my favorite events of the year and I’m excited to be invited back! It’s an all-day affair, taking place in multiple pavilions with authors in all genres. My presentation begins at 10 am sharp in the Dashiell Hammett Pavilion. Others following me in that pavilion include mystery/crime writing luminaries Rita Mae Brown, Donna Andrews, Alex Berenson, Louis Bayard, Stephen Hunter, and Brad Parks.

Sunday, May 22 at 2:00 – The Writer’s Center (Bethesda, MD)

I am thrilled to be doing a joint reading with my wonderful first writing instructor at The Writer’s Center, Ann McLaughlin. This might be your only chance to hear me actually read from one of my books!

I Heart My Friends, Old and New

2011-05-04T15:46:00.001-04:00

Today, I’m blogging on InkSpot about seeing old friends and making new ones. Click on over and join the lovefest!

Convention Game Plan

2011-04-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

I love going to writing/book/mystery conventions and festivals. Where else are so many book lovers crammed into one space? And where else do I get a chance to talk shop and meet tons of interesting people? I’ve got two big events coming up within the next week, the Malice Domestic convention and the Festival of Mystery; both are loads of fun.

But despite how fun they are, these gatherings can be overwhelming. So many people to talk to, so many great panels and workshops and interviews and banquets ~~and poker games~~. In order to maximize my enjoyment, I’ve found it helpful to prepare a game plan.

Some things I consider:

Specific people I want to meet or talk to. Many conventions post lists of attendees, so I go through these ahead of time and note people I’d like to make sure to meet. I’ve made a lot of friends in cyberspace and I love meeting them in person. Also, this is my chance to meet some of the writers whose work I’ve admired.

Panels I’d like to attend. At the bigger conventions, there are multiple panel tracks. This means you have to make some tough decisions. I’ll look at the program ahead of time and figure out which panels seem most interesting. Of course, once I get to the convention, my plans usually change. Often, it’s a lot more fun to get involved in an impromptu discussion in the lobby with a small group.

Downtime. After going non-stop, from dawn to the wee hours, at a couple conferences, I’ve learned I need some downtime during the day, whether it’s just to get some fresh air or recharge my batteries. I’ll look at the schedule and try to determine possible times for doing that.

Meals. Gotta eat, right?

Books. Can’t go to a convention without buying some books! I see which of my favorite (or new) authors are going to be there so I can buy one and get it signed.

Promotion is a valuable aspect of these conventions. I speak on panels and sign books, so I need to make sure I arrive at the right place, at the right time, and have my material—notes, handouts, bookmarks, Sharpies, etc.

If you’re going to be at Malice Domestic (April 29 – May 1 in Bethesda, MD) or the Festival of Mystery (May 2 in Oakmont, PA), please stop by and say hello. Like I said, I love, love, love meeting my cyberspace pals in person!

Launched

2011-04-25T06:00:00.000-04:00

A week ago Saturday, about 50 loyal and waterproof souls braved the monsoons to come to my KILLER ROUTINE book launch at the Reston (VA) Barnes & Noble. I had a great time, and I hope everyone else did too!

There was cake!

And books!

And an introduction by my son!

And comedy!

And lots of well-wishers!

Thanks to everyone who came out to support me!

(And thanks to my Sis-in-Law for taking pics!)

Collecting Cookbooks

2011-04-21T08:36:00.001-04:00

Today, I’m a Cozy Chick! Click over and learn all about my cookbook collection. It’s voluminous!

Busy Weekend

2011-04-15T08:28:00.001-04:00

I’ve got two events scheduled for this weekend.

Tomorrow, Saturday, April 16, at 4:00 pm, is the Book Launch for KILLER ROUTINE. It will be at the Reston (VA) Barnes & Noble, and everyone is invited! There will be a 30-minute (or so) presentation, followed by the signing of the books. And…there will be cake!

On Sunday, April 17, from 11:00 am to 4:00 pm, I’ll be at the Kensington Celebration of the International Day of the Book in Kensington, MD. I’ll be chatting with people about Mystery Writers of America (and I’ll have books available, too!).

Hope to see you at one of these events!

The Mean Streets

2011-04-14T08:35:00.001-04:00

Want to hear about my harrowing experiences at a Citizens’ Police Academy? Visit The Thrill Begins blog (International Thriller Writers).

Three for the Price of None

2011-04-13T08:44:00.001-04:00

Today is Triple Blog Wednesday.

I’m guest blogging on Elizabeth Spann Craig’s Mystery Writing is Murder (one of my favorite blogs, BTW!), talking about writing FAST.

I’m also honored to be interviewed on the terrific Jungle Red Writers blog as they celebrate Awards Month.

And I’m on InkSpot today, talking about my on-going attempts at being entertaining.

Two Years of Blogging

2011-04-11T06:00:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, today, I began blogging. 303 blog posts later, I’m still at it.

Here’s a link to that first post.

It’s Official!

2011-04-08T15:16:00.001-04:00

Today is the official release date of KILLER ROUTINE.

Stand Up

2011-04-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

The KILLER ROUTINE Blog Tour rolls on! Today’s stop: the most excellent blog of Professor Mystery, Margot Kinberg. Click through to Confessions of a Mystery Novelist where I discuss the difference between writing a stand-up routine and reading a stand-up routine. Hint: There’s a BIG difference!

Just a Working Stiff

2011-04-07T07:32:00.001-04:00

Today, I’m guest blogging at Working Stiffs. The topic? Starting a new writing project. Would you believe procrastination is involved?

FREE BOOKS!

2011-04-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, it’s true. You can win FREE BOOKS from Mystery Writers of America. Every month, there’s a book giveaway contest. To enter, all you have to do is go HERE, and submit an email message. Couldn’t be much easier!

This month, one winner will receive SIGNED copies of each of the following books:

Love Me to Death by Allison Brennan
Merciless by Mary Burton
Before Cain Strikes by Joshua Corin
Rogue Island by Bruce DeSilva
So Close the Hand of Death by J.T. Ellison
Silent Mercy by Linda Fairstein
Love You More by Lisa Gardner
Deadly Currents by Beth Groundwater
Grace Under Pressure by Julie Hyzy
The Ragtime Fool by Larry Karp
Beaglemania by Linda O. Johnston
A Touch of Gold by Joyce and Jim Lavene
Rizzo's Fire by Lou Manfredo
Sticky Fingers by Nancy Martin
Killer Routine by Alan Orloff
I, Alex Cross by James Patterson
The Insane Train by Sheldon Russell
The Other Side of Dark by Sarah Smith
Deadly Diversion by Eleanor Sullivan
The Mapping of Love and Death by Jacqueline Winspear
Mystery Writers of America Presents...Crimes by Moonlight, edited by Charlaine Harris

If you’re counting, that’s 21 books! Signed! Free!

Including one by me!

Remember, you’ve got to play to win!

My Junk Has Come In!

2011-04-04T06:00:00.000-04:00

I’m taking a small break in my blog tour to share some fantastic news--I got the following Facebook message recently, and I’m overjoyed! I’m going to be rich! (Poor Cousin Tom, I hardly knew ye!)

Hello dear,

I presumed that all is well with you and your family. Please let this proposal not come to you as a surprise, because we haven't met before. My name is Mr. [name redacted], I'm an employee of Bank of China (UK) Limited London. I am also a member of an Ad hoc committee recently set up by the British Government to look into growing number of dormant accounts in UK banks due to deaths of customers, with a view to finding ways of locating relatives of the dead customers. The British Government is already working with some NGO'S through the unclaimed Assets Register, to confiscate and divert unclaimed depositor's funds to help the bad economy.
Read this article below: [link redacted]

This transaction involves a customer (Late Mr. Thomas Orloff) who shares the same surname with you and also the circumstances surrounding huge deposits of British Pounds made by this client at the private banking arm of my bank "Bank of China, UK". The Bank of China Private Banking customer died in testate and nominated no successor in title over the huge deposits of GBP36,759,000.00 made with my bank. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this email private and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this email.

I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this email private [oops!] and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this email. I'm contacting you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication between you and I. I would like to intimate you with facts that I believe would be of interest to you.I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. I assure you that I can have the deposit released to you within few days once you accept this proposal. Upon receipt of the deposit, I'm prepared to share the money with you 50/50.

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like me who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move.

Such opportunities only come ones in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once; I have found myself in total control of my destiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to change my life for good. Moreover, my 12 yrs old daughter, my only child, is suffering from Leukemia and she needs an urgent bone marrow surgery in California as advised by my family doctor. But it will cost me around US$100,000.00 to take her for the surgery. And that is why I’m eager to utilize this opportunity since our family doctor has given my daughter just three months to live.

There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let’s share the blessing.

If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion.

I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking customers. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon.

Anticipating your immediate response through my private email-[redacted]
Mr. [name redacted]

It’s a Thrill! (No Fooling)

2011-04-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I’d like to point you to a very nice article about KILLER ROUTINE, written by the very nice crime writer Austin Camacho. It’s on ITW’s (International Thriller Writers) monthly webzine, The Big Thrill. (Yes, I am a proud member of ITW.)

Thanks bunches, Austin!

That Fine Line

2011-03-31T06:37:00.001-04:00

Join me today at Patricia Stoltey’s place, where I “talk” about why I decided to write a series featuring a stand-up comic.

One Two Two Three

2011-03-25T06:00:00.000-04:00

Book One News – On Sunday, I’ll be speaking about DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD at the Hadassah Book Fair at the Reston Barnes & Noble. The Fair starts at 1 p.m., and I “go on” at 2 p.m.

Book Two News – RT Book Reviews had this to say about KILLER ROUTINE:

“Gritty and full of surprises, this is a fascinating glimpse into the world of stand-up comedy; it’s definitely worth a read.”

To read the entire review, get a copy of the April 2011 issue of RT Book Reviews at your local bookstore.

Thanks, RT Book Reviews!

Book Two News, Part Two – There are still five more days to sign up to win a free copy of KILLER ROUTINE at Goodreads. Click over and enter—you know you want to!

Book Three News – The second book in the Last Laff Mystery Series now has a name. It’s…DEADLY CAMPAIGN. In it, Channing helps his friend Thomas Lee investigate some unsavory events surrounding his nephew’s run for Congress. Scheduled for an April 2012 release.

Crank it Up

2011-03-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

Today I’m blogging at InkSpot. My hibernation is over. Time to crank up the promotion machine and introduce my new baby to the world. Click on over and join the fun!

Festival! Of Books! In Virginia!

2011-03-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

For the past few years, I’ve attended the Virginia Festival of the Book in Charlottesville, VA. Held in March, it’s a week-long (give or take) celebration of books.

What could be better than that?

Although I’m tempted by a number of programs throughout the Festival, I only make the two-hour drive for Crime Wave Saturday. All day long, there are panels and talks about crime fiction. In a word: awesome.

In the past, I’ve been one of the many (thousands) of mystery lovers attending the panels. This year, I was thrilled to be on a panel.

And it was a very, very good panel. Moderated by Cliff Garstang, my fellow panelists were John Connolly, Deanne Raybourn, and Paul Robertson. I was thoroughly entertained (if not thoroughly entertaining). From the audience’s feedback, I think (hope) they were entertained as well. (Note to self: work on Irish accent.)

(The panel, with me hogging the mic, as usual. Photo courtesy of Alma Katsu, whose debut novel, THE TAKER, comes out this Fall from Simon & Schuster/Gallery.)

After my panel, I attended a superb luncheon, featuring Kathy Reichs as the keynote speaker. I didn’t even freak out when I discovered cheese in my entrée.

In the afternoon, I had a chance to catch up with some of my writer friends, make some new mystery-loving friends, and enjoy a stroll down the pedestrian mall in downtown Charlottesville.

All in all, a terrific day. If you live in Virginia, put this on your calendar for next year. You won’t be sorry!

Spring, If That’s You Knocking, Come On In!

2011-03-18T06:00:00.001-04:00

As you may have noticed, I’ve been a little scarce around the blog during the past couple weeks.

Been busy. Real busy. (Plus I lost an hour last weekend.)

Most of the events have been of the personal/family variety, and, without a single exception, they’ve all been good. (One highlight: My family got a private tour of the West Wing, courtesy of a good friend of mine.)

Writingwise, I’ve been busy, too, although I don’t have a lot of new “product” to show for my efforts. I have managed to get in a lot of daydreaming, which I tell my family is really a very important part of the writing process called plotting, and please don’t disturb me as I sit in the recliner with my eyes shut.

Promotionwise, this Saturday, I’ll be at the Virginia Festival of the Book. My panel, at 10:00 am, is called, “Death: Another Time, Another Place.” It will be moderated by Cliff Garstang, and the other panelists are John Connolly, Deanna Raybourn, and Paul Robertson.

KILLER ROUTINE’s official release date is April 8, but it’s being shipped early. Many people have already received their pre-orders, so RUN OUT AND CHECK YOUR MAILBOXES.

Next week, I’ll have an exciting announcement about the second book in the Last Laff series. Like maybe what the title will be (and it’s not SON OF KILLER ROUTINE).

Have a great weekend!

Yum!

2011-03-13T15:58:00.001-04:00

Tofu or not tofu, that is the question.

To see the answer, click on over to Mystery Lovers’ Kitchen, where I’m guest blogging.

They’re Here

2011-03-07T09:37:00.001-05:00

My author copies of KILLER ROUTINE arrived. Yay!

Coming to a Mailbox Near You

2011-03-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

Operating under the “people can’t buy/read your book unless they know about it” principle, I mailed out a few postcards.

To be exact, I mailed 1376 postcards to bookstores and libraries.

I didn’t use postcards for my first book, but I thought I’d give this “low-tech, old-school” approach a try.

I designed the postcards using Photoshop, and I got them printed by Printplace.com (affordable and good quality).

Here’s the front:

And the back:

I spent hours sticking on labels and stamps. (And boy, were my arms tired!)

The mailing “dropped” last Friday, so the postcards should be arriving this week. As is often the case with marketing/promotion initiatives, I’m not sure how I’ll be able to tell if this effort was “successful.”

Unless I happen to hit a bestseller list. Then I’ll be mailing postcards for all my books.

This has been another “behind-the-scenes” glimpse at the promotional efforts of a mystery writer.

Here We Go Again

2011-02-28T08:58:00.001-05:00

Today I’m blogging at InkSpot about promoting a second book. Pop on over and add your two cents. Or more, if you’re feeling generous.

Hittin’ the Road

2011-02-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

In case you missed it, yesterday I blogged at Kaye Barley’s Meanderings and Muses blog.

Click on over and say hi. Or whatever else is on your mind.

Personal Classics

2011-02-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

So many books, so little time. That’s why I rarely re-read a book—there are too many good ones out there, sirens calling my name, tempting me with the promise of a good time.

But these books, for whatever reason, managed to wheedle their way onto my TBR pile for second (or third) reads:

The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings
Ender’s Game
The Godwulf Manuscript
Lord of the Flies
Silence of the Lambs
Watchers
The Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice Cream God
Jurassic Park

What about you? Do you have some favorite books you like to re-read? Why?

What Say You?

2011-02-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

There was a discussion among some members of my group blog, InkSpot, about what kinds of posts blog readers wanted.

So that got me thinking. What kinds of posts do MY blog readers want more of?

Don’t be shy!

Thanks, Malice-Goers!

2011-02-18T07:52:00.001-05:00

It seems that the life of a writer is mostly sitting around in your cave banging on the keyboard. However—fortunately—that mundane existence is sometimes livened up by very exciting events. Getting an agent, signing a book deal, seeing your cover for the first time, garnering a good review, finally holding your printed book in your grubby hands—these all qualify.

So does getting an award nomination.

That’s why I’m thrilled to announce that DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD was nominated for the Agatha Award in the Best First Novel category.

I’m honored to have my name/book mentioned alongside the other four excellent Best First nominees: Avery Aames, Laura Alden, Amanda Flower, and Sasscer Hill.

I’m especially happy for Avery and Sasscer, two writing friends who got their start about the same time I did. (And yes, I’m very much looking forward to meeting Laura and Amanda, too!).

Congrats to them, and to all the nominees in the other categories as well!

The Agatha Awards honor the traditional mystery and are presented at the wonderful Malice Domestic convention, to be held April 29 – May 1 in Bethesda, MD. Here is a complete list of the nominations.

Still Going

2011-02-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

The Where’s Alan Book Giveaway Contest continues…

Yes, the lighting’s bad (it’s on a subway platform). Yes, that’s me standing next to the ad. Yes, you too can send in a picture of yourself standing near one of my ads and be entered to win a signed book!

Nice Doorstop

2011-02-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

I finished reading Stephen King’s UNDER THE DOME last week. At more than 1000 pages, I was engrossed in the story, with the same cast of characters, for quite some time. Luckily, I enjoyed it.

But, after all that time invested, I wanted a really, really good ending. Unfortunately, I thought it fell a little short.

Without trying to give anything away, the book opens with a highly implausible event. So I guess I wasn’t that surprised to have an ending which bordered on a deus et machina. Although to be fair, after the precipitating event, I’m not sure how he could have wrapped things up without pulling something out of his nether regions.

Anyway, like I said, I enjoyed the book. But I would have enjoyed it more with a different ending.

What book have you read where the ending left you a little flat? Did that stop you from reading that author’s next book?

What’s a Chapbook, Anyway?

2011-02-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, the AWP (The Association of Writers & Writing Programs) Annual Conference was held in Washington, D.C. It consisted of four days full of panels, meetings, and drinking (or so I heard).

I skipped the panels, meetings, and drinking, and went to the Bookfair instead. I didn’t count but there had to be close to a bazillion booths and table displays to check out. Being a “genre” writer, I never realized just how many literary journals, magazines, reviews, small presses, university presses, MFA programs, writing coops, and other related “literary” things existed.

I was astounded, to say the least.

It’s nice to know there are a ton of fresh and innovative publishers/publications out there, both in print and on-line, providing outlets for creative writing of all stripes.

Kinda made me wish I was more creative.

About Last Night

2011-02-09T10:26:00.001-05:00

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending the monthly MWA Mid-Atlantic Chapter meeting. Our speaker was publishing attorney Daniel Steven and he talked about the protection of intellectual property rights, the ebook revolution, and piracy. (Incidentally, he was for, neutral, and against.)

A few things I came away with:

With regard to ebooks, Steven described publishing as being at the “beginning of an era, like the wild, wild west.” Much of the conflict between publishers and authors in the ebook arena comes from old laws/old contracts being applied against the new, digital world.

An example: For an older book, printed before ebooks even existed, there was no assignment of digital rights (obviously). So now, publishers claim that they own the rights and authors, of course, claim that they do. It’s a murky area.

He advised writers that, right now, if you had to choose just one format to e-publish in, pick the Kindle.

Discussing piracy, Steven said that in a lot of cases, there’s not much a writer can do, short of legal action. And even then, because many of the more organized pirate sites are off-shore, it’s almost impossible to get anything done about it. He suggested that pricing your work at a certain (lower) price point might make pirating “not worth the effort or risk.”

All in all, a very enlightening evening.

For more valuable information about publishing law, check out Daniel Steven’s website.

YAC (Yet Another Contest)

2011-02-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

I’m giving away a few books through Goodreads. Just click through to enter the drawing (and while you’re there, add KILLER ROUTINE to your list of books to-be-read). Good luck!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Killer Routine

by Alan Orloff

Giveaway ends March 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Open Wide

2011-02-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

You might be surprised to learn that I do not have any tattoos or piercings on my body. I have a deep aversion to “permanent” “alterations” that affect my flesh and bones. (Yes, I know that piercing holes can close up and that you can get tattoos removed. But I don’t even like “semi” “permanent” “alterations.”)

I don’t like stuff you can’t change. I do not like permanent things.

As a kid, I shied away from permanent markers. I never wanted anything to go on my permanent record. And I know I dressed like a wrinkled mess, never having the courage to wear permanent press.

So I guess it’s not shocking to reveal that I don’t like going to the dentist. All that drilling and filling and yanking and clanking is permanent. (Other reasons include extreme discomfort and pain and the taste of Novocain.)

Unfortunately, that’s where I am/was this morning. It’s been at least 10 or 12 years since I’ve needed any dental work (besides a cleaning). I brush, I floss, I eat right, I whisper sweet—but not sugary—nothings to my molars. Despite my best efforts, though, I need some work done.

The worst part? I’ll have to carry around those metal/ceramic pieces in my mouth for the rest of my life. I’ll be forever altered, and that bums me out.

What does this have to do with writing?

Well, once a book gets published in print, it’s “permanent.” Can’t be altered. Sure, you can change it in future editions or in the e-book version, but each printed book is permanent.

That’s why, as a writer, you need to make your story as good as you possibly can. Sometimes, there are no second chances.

Zip It!

2011-02-02T08:41:00.001-05:00

Today, I’m blogging on InkSpot about that nagging, nefarious voice in the back of my head. Pop on over and join the ~~fray~~ fun!

Thanks, Good Snowmaritans!

2011-01-31T06:00:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday, the Washington area had a “snow event.” Here’s the recipe for disaster: Combine a fast-dumping snowstorm with a DC area rush hour. Top it off with drivers who don’t know how to drive in snow, then let the ingredients steep for a few hours.

Result: A ROYAL MESS.

My son and I left a doctor’s appointment at 4:20 pm. to travel the fifteen miles home. (It had taken us about twenty-five minutes to get there at 3:00.) Guess how long it took us to get home. (Go on, guess.)

Two hours? No.

Three hours? Not even, uh, warm.

Four hours? No siree.

If you guessed six hours, you’d still be almost two hours SHORT!

That’s right, almost eight hours later, we stumbled through the door into our dark and cold house (yes, the power had gone out).

Eight hours! It would have been faster if we’d walked the fifteen miles.

And the funny thing? It would have taken us a lot longer, if not for the help of six Good Snowmaritans.

We got stuck on three separate occasions. And each time, anonymous, good-hearted people stepped up and pushed us back into the fray.

So, thanks to the two guys on Jermantown Road, who were pushing all the cars up that incline.

Thanks to the guy who practically lifted the front end of our car out of that snowbank on Bennett Road.

Thanks to the lady who kept our car from sliding down the hill on Bennett.

And thanks to the two guys who got us going at the top of the hill on Bennett (Bennett Road has one killer hill, if you couldn’t tell!).

Without your selfless assistance, I think my son and I would still be out there, somewhere, huddled together for warmth, waiting for Spring.

Thanks, Good Snowmaritans!

“Where’s Alan?” Book Giveaway Contest

2011-01-28T06:00:00.002-05:00

As I described in my last post, my picture will be riding around the mean streets of MD, VA, and DC. On Metrobus ads (inside, behind the driver, I believe).

To refresh your memory, here’s what it looks like:

To ~~further draw attention to myself~~ have some fun, I’m holding a two-part book giveaway, sort of like a real-life Where’s Waldo? Except yours truly will be playing the part of Waldo.

Here’s how Part A works:

Simply email me a snapshot of my picture in the wild. That is, take a picture of one of the Metrobus ads for The Writer’s Center that has my face on it. (You can send it to alan@alanorloff.com or post it on your Facebook wall and send me the link.) Try to get something/someone else in the picture, so we can get a sense of the Metrobus ambiance. If you can get someone else to take a picture of you next to my picture, all the better. Also, if you want to say approximately where you spotted me (ie, cross streets or bus line), that would be fun, too.

Now, I hear you asking, “What about a picture next to the diorama in the Woodley Park Metro Station? Does that count?”

And the answer is, “Yes. Yes, that counts, too!” I’ll accept a picture of me in the advertisement for The Writer’s Center pretty much anywhere you can find it (See? Isn’t this a fun treasure-hunt contest?).

I’ll put all the people who send me pictures into a hat (or other vessel), and pick a lucky winner. The winner can have his/her choice of DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD or the upcoming KILLER ROUTINE (but you’ll have to wait a bit, until it’s published).

I reserve the right to post the pictures you send in on my blog, website, Facebook page, or elsewhere. So, please, no nudity!

Now, I hear some of you saying, “Wait! I desperately want to participate in this superfun contest, but I don’t live in the D.C. area. What can I do?”

You’re in luck! I also will be giving away a book to another lucky person in Where’s Alan? Part B. To be eligible for this part of the giveaway, simply email me a picture of yourself holding (or pointing to) a copy of DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD in a bookstore or library. I’ll put the names of all the people who enter this way into a different hat (I’m a man who wears many hats) and draw a winner. Again, because I may post some of these pictures, please keep your clothes on.

Both parts of this contest will run through the end of February. Be sure to include your name and email address with your entry.

Happy Hunting! (And don’t even think of drawing a moustache on my picture.)

Ahoy, Metrobus Riders!

2011-01-26T06:00:00.003-05:00

ATTENTION BUS-RIDING CITIZENS OF OUR NATION’S CAPITAL

DO NOT BE ALARMED by the picture of a scruffy-looking individual staring back at you from an advertising poster behind the driver’s seat. He is harmless.

I should know. I am that scruffy-looking individual.

What?!

Yes, it’s true. My picture and quote are being used in an advertising campaign for The Writer’s Center in Bethesda, MD (read past blog about what The Writer’s Center has meant to me).

I take every opportunity to sing the praises of the Center, so when they asked if I’d like to participate in this awareness campaign, I said, “How high?” I’m thrilled (and honored) to be among the authors chosen.

The ads will be on selected Metrobuses in Montgomery County, MD, Northern VA, and Northwest D.C. during the month of February.

A diorama, including me and the three other writers in this campaign, Patricia McArdle, Eugenia Kim, and Glen Finland, also will be in the Woodley Park/Zoo Metro station (subway station, for you out-of-towners).

Come back to the blog on Friday to learn about a fun and exciting contest involving mass transit, cameras, free books, and my face.

Late-breaking news: there already have been sightings!

What’s On Tap

2011-01-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

I figured that since I don’t do ~~much~~ enough housekeeping in my house, I should at least do a little here on my blog.

I usually try to post three times a week, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I’ll do my best to keep to that schedule, but this is going to be an especially busy six months or so (I know, I know, I say that often). In addition to my next book being released, and all the promotional effort associated with that, there’s a joyous family event taking place.

Some things to watch for:

In the next week or so, I’ll be announcing a fun and exciting contest/book giveaway. (At least I think it’s fun and exciting.)

I’ll also be holding a book giveaway on Goodreads, to be announced soon.

In a couple months, I’ll be “embarking” on a blog tour to promote KILLER ROUTINE. I’ve already done the most important part, designing the tour logo:

As I finalize more dates, I’ll be posting the entire blog tour schedule in the sidebar.

Also, I hope to host more guests on the blog this year. If you’re interested, drop me an email!

Minutiae

2011-01-21T06:30:00.001-05:00

My new business cards arrived yesterday. (I know, the excitement around here never ceases.)

This is the third or fourth version I’ve ordered in the past few years. With prices from the online printers so reasonable, it’s very easy to “upgrade” whenever there’s a change in info (or whenever else, for that matter). I ordered these from Printplace.com. I think I’ve ordered more versions of business cards than I’ve bought new shoes during that span.

My previous business cards were kind of busy. Stuff on the front, stuff on the back, stuff on the edges. I listed a variety of ways to contact me: email, website, Facebook, blogs (2), Twitter. I had book ordering information. I had cover art. It seemed the only thing I didn’t have was a map to my house.

This time, I wanted something a lot simpler.

I already have “fancy” bookmarks with cover art and blurbs and plot descriptions. I figure I can hand those out to interested readers to spark interest for my books. I’ll use the business cards more in their traditional sense, to give people contact info in a form that fits in their Rolodexes and card files.

This time, I also left the back blank, so people can jot down notes.

Boring? I prefer “simple.” (Yes, this is simple compared to my last version.)

And if I grow tired of them, I know where I can get more. Cheap.

Jumping the Snark

2011-01-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

The other night, my family and I were watching a movie on DVD. It was a comedy about a high school girl telling a lie and getting ostracized by her peer group and yada yada yada. Pretty funny, if a little more adult than the PG-13 rating.

About two-thirds of the way through the movie, though, it took a sharp turn south (IMHO). We learn that one of the characters, a high school counselor, is having an affair with one of the students. And she transmitted an STD to him. Funny, huh?

Of course, stuff like that does happen in real life, too often. But it sure seemed out of place in this little comedy. My wife and I exchanged glances, a non-verbal wtf. For the rest of the movie, we (anxiously) waited to see what other things might pop out of left field (thankfully, there were no space aliens).

My point? Besides high school counselors shouldn’t have affairs with students?

Actually, I have three points:

1) Writers need to know their audience.

2) Writers should adhere to the conventions set forth in their genres (generally), or risk alienating readers/viewers.

3) Writers need to be consistent within the world they’ve created.

Thoughts?

I Wanna Know

2011-01-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Today’s Marketing/Promotion Question:

Are promotional postcards mailed to libraries and bookstores effective, or are they a waste of time/money/paper?

What say you, blog readers?
(All opinions welcome, but please, don’t throw food.)