Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Hey, Get Off My Lawn!

Have you ever tried to incorporate a popular trend (such as zombies or vampires) into your own work? Have you ever felt pressure to do so to increase sales/circulation?

Some people have referred to me as Mr. Anti-Trend.

To wit:

When bell bottoms and flares were all the rage (way back when), I would only wear straight leg pants. Five years after that, when straight leg jeans were in, I was sporting flares.

I do not own a smartphone (I refuse to get a phone smarter than me).

You know those skintight leggings that runners have been wearing for a decade? I don’t own any. Instead, I run in baggy sweatpants (the same ones I’ve owned for probably a decade). spinning

Don’t own any Apple products. My MP3 player is a Sansa.

I never rollerbladed or went to spinning class. 

I didn’t start watching Breaking Bad until the series had already ended.

I’m not on Instagram or Pinterest or Tsu or Reddit or StumbleBumble or whatever.

I don’t know the difference between a mocha, a macchiato, an espresso, a frappuccino, a cappuccino, a whatheheckuccino, a latte, and a flat white (although that last one sounds like the paint color I used for my wife’s dressing room). I think there’s coffee involved, right?

I still own luggage without wheels.

When I read a newspaper in the morning, I read a newspaper.

Sometimes I wear a watch on my wrist. One whose only function is to tell time.

In fact, I’m so untrendy I don’t even know what the current trends are!

I guess my answer to this question is obvious: No, I don’t write to any current trends. I write what I want, and figure if I like it, there must be someone else out there, somewhere, who might like it too.

Now, can anyone help me program my Betamax?

(This entry is simul-posted on Criminal Minds.)



Hart Johnson said...

If you lived in the Pacific Northwest you'd be positively trendy. That is where trends are rejected outright... anybody trend-chasing is passe. Though I suppose there is ALSO the actual trend of trying to be different... hard for every single person to be absolutely unique... leads to a lot of extreme attempts.

Alan Orloff said...

The thought of me being trendy is amusing. But wait, isn't that where the whole coffee craze began???

Patricia Stoltey said...

You and I have a lot in common, Alan, but I'm afraid we're probably considered old fogies for our anti-hip habits. I know my niece gets quite flustered when I call her instead of returning her texts. I have a Tracfone with regular phone buttons so it takes me forever to compose a message. A call is so much easier.

Alan Orloff said...

I know. It seems like we're moving backward. Calling someone is more efficient than texting. What's next, Pony Express?