Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Some wise soul (either Confucius or my father, I forget) once said, "He who do everything, do nothing." This saying implies, of course, that a person can't do everything, at least not well.
Confucius (or my father) never read the book, How To Do just about Everything.* Written by Courtney Rosen & the eHow** Editors, this tome promises "Concise Instructions for Daily Life."
Finally, an instruction manual for life! I could have used this twenty-five years ago (see How To Compliment a Woman Who Catches Your Eye).
Armed with this book, you'll be able to boil pasta in eleven easy steps (All this time, I've been doing it in five! What have I been leaving out?). You'll knock out that short story in eight steps (seven actually, because step #8 - Extend the Resolution Phase, is optional). You'll have batters quaking in the box from your newly-learned knuckleball. You'll travel wrinkle-free. And you'll be able to go out and trap those pesky garden gophers.
The book even tells you how to blow your nose (Tip: Wait to start blowing your nose until you've been sitting upright at least five or ten minutes).
It can help correct flaws in your current methods, too. I learned I don't whistle properly (I suck air in, rather than blowing it out). Six simple steps and I'll be whistling like a champ. Although I think I'll fall short on step #6 - Practice!
After reading this book, I've decided to write the surefire blockbuster follow-on, How To Have TIME to Do Everything.
If only I had the time.
*One of a series of How To books
**eHow is a cool website
Posted by Alan Orloff at 7:21 AM