Friday, June 10, 2011

Down the Hall, To the Left

Here are the top ten things I get asked at book signings:

10. “Should I know who you are?”

9. “Do you live in a mansion?”

8. “Can I have a part in the movie version?” [Oh wait, that’s my son who always asks me this one]

7. “How come your books don’t have vampires in them?”

6. “Do you know James Patterson?”

5. “Are there refreshments?”

4. “If I give you a great idea, can you write the book and split the money with me?”

3. “Can you introduce me to your agent?”

2. “Have you written any good books?”

and the number one thing I get asked at book signings:

“Do you know where the bathrooms are?”



Jan Morrison said...

Yay! I'd like to hear your replies, Alan. Especially to #7 and #4. It reminds me of the wonderful violinist, Angela Dubeau, who getting tired of being told she was a wonderful violinist because she had a stradivarius and handed her violin to the stoopid person and told him to go ahead and play. Oh that was a satisfying moment!

Alan Orloff said...

Jan - #4 - "Sure, I'll split the money with you. Got change for a five?"

#7 - "Because my pal, Sue Ann Jaffarian, has that angle covered!"

Patricia Stoltey said...

I got that question about the restrooms at least once per signing.

Also a variation on #10: "Are you famous?"