Thursday, July 23, 2009

Gotta Party

My lovely wife came into my office the other day wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and some stylish, strappy, gold high-heeled sandals. "What do you think?" she asked.

"I think you're going to have a tough time playing tennis in those," I said, pointing to the shoes.

"Idiot. They're for your book launch party."

My book launch party? DIAMONDS FOR THE DEAD isn't scheduled for release until April 2010. That's about nine months from now (or 251 days or 6024 hours, but who's counting?). Surely I don't need to be shopping for shoes yet, do I?

"Do I really need a launch party?" I asked my wife.

"Don't be silly. Of course you do," she said for the fiftieth time.

Actually, it's good someone's thinking about my book launch party. Every time it crosses my mind, I usher it out gently, like the little kid from down the street who keeps showing up in my living room with muddy feet. I mean, isn't one of the good things about being a writer not having to talk to people? (If my editor is reading this, I'm just joking. Sort of.)

A while back, my wife volunteered to organize the party; I didn't argue (not that it would have done any good). Fact is, I'm glad to cede control--I barely know the difference between a canapé and a can of peas, and thinking about hosting a party makes me break out in a rash.

Right now, she's working up a list of possible venues (if I get an idea, I let her know and she patronizes me by jotting it down, which is okay--I've been patronized before.)

Here's what we've come up with so far:

  • A bar/restaurant
  • A jewelry store (We'll emphasize the "diamonds" part, not the "dead" part.)
  • An art gallery (My idea--she makes a face every time I mention it.)
  • A local community center
  • Our house (This got nixed pretty quickly, but you never know. If we start cleaning tomorrow, we might be ready in time.)
  • Banquet room at a hotel
  • A local bookstore

Anybody have any other creative ideas? If you do, please leave them in the comments and don't worry, I'll be sure to pass them along to my wife.

After all, I'm not a complete idiot.



Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

I think I need a wife. :) I couldn't bear the thought of a book launch party. I'll actually be out of town when my book releases.


Crystal Clear Proofing said...

You ARE lucky! Most (if not all) of the authors I know WRITE - period. The thought of a query letter, book-signing or party - UGH! I think she has some great ideas so far -- I like the jewelry store one (diamonds) as opposed to maybe - a morgue....JUST KIDDING!

Alan Orloff said...

Elizabeth - You can borrow mine, if you'd like :)

Crystal - I am lucky--no complaints here. I kinda like your morgue idea (I guess we'd emphasize the DEAD part, huh?). Although I think I'd be afraid of being a little stiff. And I wouldn't want to appear too cold.

Galen Kindley--Author said...

I, too, like the dead theme. How about a funeral parlor?
You could sit or lie (someone help me with the right verb tense for lay??? Is lie, correct? Always so complicated, even death.) Anyway, you could be…up there in the coffin with a stack of books, and maybe some fake diamonds. Funeral homes are generally pretty large and have plenty of seats. You might even prevent “guests” from leaving until they bought a book. Plenty of sales that way; who wants to spend the night in a Funeral Parlor? Yuk. I’d buy a book to get out.

Best regards, Galen

Imagineering Fiction Blog

Carla Buckley said...

Hi Alan! I, too, debated throwing a book launch party (what if no one came?) but my husband persuaded me ever so gently. After debating and pricing out various venues, it looks like I'm going to have three when my book launches in February, all at friends' houses (no need to clean mine!), in three different cities. (I know, I know. I have great friends.)

My decision came down to this: where would I have the most fun? You could always host the party somewhere neutral and do diamond-themed decorations and door prizes. If you do end up giving away diamonds, please consider putting me on your invite list.

Unknown said...

Hi Alan!

I had two great launch parties in two different cities at bookstores. We served cocktails and snacks at both events and everything was wonderful! The up side of doing this is that the bookstores ask you to sign stock and prominently display your book prior to the signing so you might end up with more than just friends and family there.


Alan Orloff said...

Galen - Funeral home. Not bad. But I don't think me lying (laying?) in a coffin would go over so well with my wife. (And I'm not sure her fancy shoes would fit there, either). Still...

Carla - 3 launches, 3 cities. Wow!I wish I had friends like yours (hey, would you mind if I gave them a call?). And I like your idea to give away diamonds. Maybe I should start looking for a sponsor--do you think De Beers would be interested?

Julie - A bookstore would be ideal. I just need to find a nice friendly independent. One that will still be in business eight months from now :(

Deborah Sharp said...

'' . . . don't know a canape from a a can of peas ...'' Funny guy!
the only advice I can give is DO NOT hold the launch party at your home. You're supposed to be having fun, not playing host.
And, secondly, if you plan to sell your own books at your party, do not let your wife wander off with a glass of wine (as my husband did) and leave you there to do the money-math alone. This is the argument for having it at a bookstore where they have actual cash registers and people who can use them.