Friday, February 26, 2010

I Love/Hate My Muse

My muse is so lazy that...

…when it's time to write a particularly difficult chapter, he claims he has a migraine. Whoever heard of a four-week migraine?

…sometimes he pretends he doesn't know English. But I catch him reading comic books (in English!) under the bed.

…he tells me to just "make stuff up on my own."

…he uses the same words over and over (and over, and over).

…when I ask him to "pretty, pretty please" give me 1000 words, he simply laughs at me (well, it's more of an evil snicker).

…when the weather gets nice, all he wants to do is go to the driving range and hit balls (and he usually forgets sunscreen and then complains about his sunburn for days).


Damn my muse!!



Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

Maybe they're on strike? Is there a muse union?

Mystery Writing is Murder

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

My muse is on strike since I finished Murder In Vein. I've heard she filing a formal complaint against me for hostile work environment.

Then again, maybe my muse and yours are in cahoots to extort cash when our next deadlines approach.

Annette said...

My muse showed up for work one day last week. ONE. Made me think I was getting somewhere. But the rest of the week, he went into hiding and left me staring at the computer screen for hours on end.


Elspeth Futcher said...

My muse has, shall I say, eccentric timing. I had time to write yesterday - real time. Nothing. Nada. Just a weird hollow giggle in the back of my brain, which I must admit was somewhat unsettling. However; as I was turning out the light last night - all these ideas came pouring into my brain. I scribbled some done - but dammit anyway!

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I think our muses might be friends. Is there a boot camp for muses to whip them into shape and teach them how to have a more cooperative attitude?

Alan Orloff said...

Elizabeth - Could be. Although that would require some organization, and I'm not sure my muse is capable of that.

Sue Ann - Ha! Hostile work environment. Maybe I should be nicer to mine. Buy him some beer or something.

Annette - Yes. YES. They CAN be replaced, can't they. (Can't they?)

Elspeth - Timing? They do it on PURPOSE! Evil critters.

Jane - I would so totally support a muse bootcamp. Totally.

Galen Kindley--Author said...

You might try my approach. I have no muse. Oh, I guess that's readily apparent, huh?

Best Wishes Galen Kindley
Imagineering Fiction Blog

Anonymous said...

My muse is always thinking thinking thinking. I can't keep up...I loose good stuff because I don't have time to write it all down!!!!!

Lorel Clayton said...

My muse (I think it's a she) is very sweet, but even she's not above participating in this illegal strike. She slips me a few tantalizing words here and there but has to scury off before the union thugs catch her, leaving me with paragraphs that fizzle out. What do we have to pay them to get them working again? I'm never stingy on the chocolate, so what is it?