Loyal Friends

You can't be too rich, too thin, or have too many friends.

So where's the fastest, easiest place to pick up some new friends? That's right, Facebook. 

Every time I go on Facebook, I see the face of another "suggested" friend gazing at me from the top right hand corner of my home page. Will you be my friend? their expression seems to plead.

If I'm in the mood to make another friend, I'll click on the "Add a friend" link without pause. Sometimes, however, I'll consider the suggestion for a while. Do I really have time in my busy life for more friends right now? What if they call and need some advice? How will they handle rejection if I decline their invitation to catch a ball game? What if they need a little scratch to tide them over until payday? It's a choice fraught with responsibility.

[I've always been in awe of people who have a knack for "setting up" other people. That's why I'd love to meet the Matchmakers of Facebook. You know, those people responsible for selecting the suggested friends, for finding people specifically for me. I mean, the Matchmakers must really know me well. How else could they suggest people I might be compatible with?]

It's a bonus when I actually know something about the person suggested. Maybe it's an author I've read. That's worth a click. Maybe it's a guy I went to high school with. Sure, why not relive good times? Click.

Often, the suggested friend and I will have a lot of other "friends" in common. If we (cyber)run in the same circle, shouldn't we be friends with each other? Got to be polite. Click.

The suggestions I like are the groups. How can you not be a fan of "I Hate Mosquitoes" or "Half Hour Vacation"? Click and click.

Sometimes, when I'm really feeling lonely, I'll hit the "see all" link. This takes me to 27 more suggested friends. Are all these people lonely, too, just waiting for me to become their friend? Can't disappoint. Click, click, click.

From day to day, I'll see most of the same names (and faces, it's FACEbook, after all!) in the line-up of suggested friends. But every so often, I'll see a few new candidates. Are these people Facebook newbies, or have they suddenly lost a few friends and are back on the scene, looking to pal around with some fresh blood? Whatever. I'm a sympathetic sort. Click, click, click, click, click.

Here's what I really want to know: Is my picture appearing on someone else's Facebook page--maybe even your Facebook page--as a "suggested friend?" If so, I hope you click on me.

I can always use another friend.