Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Goodbye Twinkies, Hello Bingles

I discovered something wonderful while on vacation - Carrot Cake Bingles. (I know, I know, you all are probably thinking, "Carrot Cake Bingles, why, they've been my favorite snack food for years!" As usual, I'm late to the party.) box_twinkies

I used to believe in the following: 

I think that I shall never see
A snack as lovely as Twinkie.*

But then Carrot Cake Bingles entered my life. For those of you poor, deprived people (as I was, a mere five days ago), a Carrot Cake Bingle is exactly like a Twinkie, but instead of a golden yellow cake outer layer, scrumptious carrot cake surrounds the yummy filling.

I have two words to describe the person who created the Carrot Cake Bingle: Pure Genius.

You're probably thinking, "What does a Carrot Cake Bingle** have to do with writing?"

I thought long and hard about that too. Finally, I came up with something. My description.

"...a Carrot Cake Bingle is exactly like a Twinkie, but instead of a golden yellow cake outer layer, scrumptious carrot cake surrounds the yummy filling."

Simple, direct, easy to understand. As long as you know what a Twinkie looks and tastes like, you're, um, golden. (And let's face it, who doesn't know about Twinkies?)

Isn't that better than, "a Carrot Cake Bingle is about five inches long and an inch-and-a-half tall (and wide), with a sort of oblong, rounded top. Inside is a vanilla creme filling that tastes vaguely of food-grade chemicals and furniture polish. The cake itself is somewhat reminiscent of carrot cake, if you have a good imagination. Warning: Ingesting too many Carrot Cake Bingles may be hazardous to your health."

It's so much easier to compare a new, unusual item to something that everyone is familiar with. That's a technique I try to employ in my novels, and it cuts down on wordy descriptions. (I like my novels tight, unlike my blog, where I tend to get a bit wordy).

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to breakfast. There are a couple Carrot Cake Bingles calling my name.

*Sorry, Joyce!

**I enjoy writing/saying "Carrot Cake Bingle." Try it, you'll like it, too!



Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

I have never noticed Carrot Cake Bingles! I'll have to look for them on one of my many repeated trips to the grocery store.

I used to have a Twinkie every day in my lunchbox..

Mystery Writing is Murder

Carla Buckley said...

Wow. You learn something every day. I wonder if Bingles should be part of your debut launch party (along with diamonds.)

Galen Kindley--Author said...

I discover yet ANOTHER Orloff hidden character trait…Gourmet Snacker. Not sure if these little jewels have made it to New Mexico, but, like Elizabeth, I too, will watch for them. Like I need another 5 pounds on my woolly mammoth-like frame.

Best Regards, Galen
Imagineering Fiction Blog

Elspeth Futcher said...

These delightful goodies have not made the fearsome trek across the border to my local store. They sound delicious and addictive. Perhaps a road trip is in order! Need to fatten up for winter (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!)

Fun post, Alan.


Alan Orloff said...

Elizabeth - I can only tell you one place to get Carrot Cake Bingles. The convenience store in Hot Springs, VA. Haven't seen them anywhere else. Twinkies are a good second-choice, though.

Carla - Carrot Cake Bingles and diamonds. They just sound like they go together, don't they? (As in, "Hey, dahling, just take a look at my mahvelous diamond bingle.")

Galen - I'm pretty sure Carrot Cake Bingles are low-cal :)

Elspeth - As a hazardous material, there's probably a law against transporting Carrot Cake Bingles across foreign borders.

Did you notice that I managed to use the words "Carrot Cake Bingles" in every response?

Deborah Sharp said...

Are these, like Twinkies, virtually indestructible? God only knows WHAT havoc that furniture-polish-chemical combo is wreaking on the stomach, but I'm all for them if they're anything like Little Debbie snack cakes (my own personal junk food preference). Cute post, A.O!

Patricia Stoltey said...

Carrot Cake Bingles. Wouldn't you love to know who thought that one up? Talk about thinking outside the box.

However, I'm on a diet. I can't have any. Just as well. I suffer when I eat chemicals that taste like furniture polish.

Craig Hart said...

Carrot Cake Bingles, Carrot Cake Bingles, Carrot Cake Bingles, Carrot Cake Bingles, Carrot Cake Bingles...

Dang, that is fun.