Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Top Ten Best Things About A First Draft

10) It helps support the market for red pens.

9) You can test-drive a few adverbs without getting yelled at.

8) It actually sounds better when read aloud with an Inspector clouseauClouseau accent.

7) It provides amusement for your critique partners.

6) You can use lame jokes, stereotypes, bad grammar, and stilted dialogue, knowing (hoping?) they'll disappear during the revision process.

5) It's a good way to use up scratch paper.

4) You don't have to show it to your agent, editor, or spouse.

3) It makes good kindling.

2) Your dog/cat/gerbil thinks it's terrific, no matter how many words are misspelled.

And the number one best thing about a first draft:

1) There's only one place to go from there: Up.


(see this post for a previous rumination about first drafts)



Unknown said...

Too funny! So tell me, are you any good at the Clouseau accent? LOL!!!!

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Love this post! You should call Letterman. Here are a couple more:

Whole chapters don't have to make any sense at all!

You can change the name of a character as often as you want, and no one will know!

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

You can change the perpetrator five or six times and no one will know! :)

Great Top Ten!

Mystery Writing is Murder

Karen Walker said...

You and Galen could be the next Rowan and Martin. Too funny!

Elspeth Futcher said...

Wonderful top ten! I will add:

No one can see how many spelling mistakes you made.

You can discover that one character changes names 3 times. Either he has a multiple personality (which might change some things, plot-wise) or you may have made a mistake.

You can use language that would make a thesaurus moan.


Galen Kindley--Author said...

Please, I’m forced to take exception to number six. “Lame jokes, stereotypes, bad grammar, and stilted dialogue,” are key and central to the things I write. I tried to think of a way to write that didn’t include these Kindley staples, but, no, nothing came to mind. So, if you’re somehow trying to imply that these items should somehow be juxtaposed with other techniques, then, I’m akimbo with outrage, but am too decorous to let it show---publically. Our new word is exculpate. As in a bad haircut, exculpate.

Best Regards, Galen

Imagineering Fiction Blog

Alan Orloff said...

Crystal - My kids don't think so. Little known fact: I almost named this blog A Million Blogging Minkeys.

Debra - Changing character names, excellent! And you can have the same character with different names (in different places) in a first draft and nobody cares.

Elizabeth - Those perps are pretty shifty, that's for sure.

Karen - Thank you. And, of course, I am honored to be mentioned in the same breath as Galen.

Elspeth - Sometimes when my thesaurus and my dictionary both get moaning, I can barely hear myself think.

Galen - Was that a first draft of your comment? And I've been thinking about buying a new car; maybe I'll get an Exculpate.

Patricia Stoltey said...

Blogging minkeys? I love it.